Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Everything that is wrong in the world today...

...can be seen at the checkout stand of the any grocery store.

This thought came to my mind as I was stuck in a long line buying groceries yesterday with nothing to do but look at the garbage the retailer hopes you will impulsively decide to buy because something titillates you or sparks your interest as your waiting your turn to pay for your goods.

Of course, the most prominent item for sale is the female-centric periodicals...

Thanks to a 10 minute wait to pay for my groceries, I have now learned more about the sex lives and relationship status of people like John and Kate and Brad and Angelina than I ever thought I'd want to. I also learned that women can employ 50 sex techniques that will drive men wild.

Looking at the selection of women's mags at the checkout stand and the content of the fare they are offering for consumption is akin to peering into the mind of a neurotic obsessive compulsive, materialistic narcissist...which certainly describes the mental state of plenty of women nowadays, no?

But the biggest irony? Almost all of the magazine covers I looked at had headlines like "How to lose that extra 10 lbs. before the holidays!" or "5 new exercises to get rid of those love handles!"

These magazines are located directly across from yet another phenomena that is certainly a big factor in what is so wrong in today's society...

I was particularly appalled as I witnessed a manifestation of a typical denizen of our Brave New World Order in the checkout stand next to mine: an obese, late 20's/early 30's Mother with three kids, (of which one obviously had a different sperm donor than the other two), dressed as an inappropriate skank, intently studying one of the celebrity gossip mags while her bastard malcontents were raising havoc in their no-doubt sugar-induced hyperactivity. As her turn came up to checkout, she threw the magazine down for purchase as she unloaded her wagon's contents onto the conveyor belt. Her kids began whining and begging for various assortments of sugar fixes, to which she with a great show of impatient irritation told them to grab their fixes just so they'd shut up for a moment.

She than had to separate the kid's sugar fixes and celeb-u-tard gossip rag from the rest of the groceries, because (of course) she whipped out her EBT Card to cover most of her shopping cart's contents. Oh the irony.

The Federal Government replaced the old food stamps with the new EBT cards so as to eliminate the shame of having to use easily distinguishable food stamps.

Yet this disgusting specimen of the welfare state matriarchy who was wearing clothing that revealed far too many details about her body that no normal man would ever consider attractive...walking around dressed like THAT...yet she's supposed to be protected from the potential shaming of having to use food stamps?!?

This is similar to what she looked like...

...except the halter top was more revealing and her shorts were short enough to show off her rolls of cellulite and stretch marks. Add in a stretched out and faded tramp stamp on her lower back, a faded tattoo on her shoulder blade, and some hair that looked utterly damaged from too many chemical highlights and color changes, throw in some jewelry and overly done makeup, and you'll get the picture.

This is the sort of person we need to spare the public indignity of having to use food stamps? She has no sense of dignity and shame to begin with!

And, of course, she was but one of the many, many observable specimens of sheeple...the product of our BraveNewWorldOrder's matriarchal welfare state that I could see grazing through the aisles of my local grocery store.

I have never been more pessimistic and cynical about the direction our society is headed in, than I was yesterday at the grocery store.


Anonymous said...

One of my favorite "inventions" is the self check out line at the grocery store. As a single guy, who doesn't usually buy much, it has saved me countless times from the situation you endured yesterday.

Gossip rags, food stamp credit cards, junk food, bastard children and big uncouth slobs all within a 10 X 10 area. Good times!

The fact that this scene is so common, from Hawaii to Colorado (where I live)and all places in between, is definitely a reason for pessimism.

Jesse said...

Right on! I'm all about the self-checkout line too. The machines work like crap but it's still better than waiting forever and being tempted by all those candy bars just sitting there waiting to be eaten.

You never know...if she was like the woman quoted in EW's post yesterday then she might have actually dressed up to go to the grocery store. She might have outfits even more revealing than what you witnessed. Oh the horror!

Alkibiades said...

The gossip rags appeal to women for the same reason that the tween fantasy shows from Disney appeal to girls. Average women can spy on the beautiful people and see that they have the same problems and issues. It makes them feel better about their empty and useless existence.

Keoni Galt said... blogs Alkibiades & Jesse. Adding ya'all to my blogroll!

Alkibiades said...


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