Wednesday, February 5, 2014

To Cook Is to Love

From a recent phone conversation I had: "You have to work and can't make it to our party? Darn! I was really looking forward to whatever dish you were going to make..."

Amongst my circle of families, friends and acquaintances, I've gained quite the reputation as a cooker of good food. It's not that I'm the second coming of Chef Avril or's just that I'm one of the guys who cooks with real food, high-quality, fresh ingredients, and I actually cook from scratch. Not to mention, at most pot luck events, I'm also usually one of the few people (sometimes even the only one!) that brings home cooked dishes to begin with. Nowadays, most everyone brings takeout, fast food, or pre-prepared platters from grocery stores.

I'm quite certain others who could not make the event I was regretfully informing the hostess I could not attend, were not regaled with the same regret she expressed to me...

"Darn, I was really looking forward to that bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken you always bring!"

One of the goals of the social engineers that designed to break up the Patriarchal family and get the women into the corporate workforce en mass, was to outsource the feeding of the family from the oppressed, exploited Mothers chained to the home stove, and make we the sheeple reliant on the corporate run, fast food and convenience food industries for the majority of our meals.

From Obesity Epidemic in America:

Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s there was exactly one hamburger stand in our town, Wetson's. We frequented it very, very infrequently, like maybe 3x a year. We also had a Dunkin' Donuts. My dad had a sweet tooth, so he got us a dozen donuts after church every couple of weeks (we went to church every week, we just didn't get donuts every time). On Friday nights we were allowed TV dinners. Other than that, we ate home-cooked food. If we dined out, it was a special occasion. My mom wasn't big on cooking, so if fast food had been more available, I've no doubt we would have been first in the drive-thru line.

Fast-forward to the present as I'm raising my son. Working full-time is not an excuse for laziness in the meal planning department, it's simply part of this equation. We have soccer practice after school, games and tournaments on weekends. My son goes through various evolutionary phases in his choice of fast food. First McDonald's, then Burger King (always Burger King for French toast sticks and hash browns, the breakfast of late-for-school champions). He flirts with Jack in the Box, Taco Bell, In ‘n Out Burger, finally declaring Wendys his all-time favorite.

Ninety percent of these "meals" are consumed in transit. Despite the fact that my German car has no cup holders (think they might be onto something here?), we regularly eat and drink while driving.'s almost like these uber-busy schedules with both parents (or a single mommy household)  too busy with work and extra-curricular activities for the kids to waste time actually preparing healthy food to eat in a pleasant setting at home, are conditions brought about on purpose? Deliberately designed that way? 

Maybe we need to re-think these things, no?

Not only are we as a nation getting fat, sick and lazy, thanks to all of this lack of home cooking, we are also raising an entire generation of kids who won't have the kind of cherished memories that stick with kids for the rest of their lives.

Cooking food is one of the ultimate expressions of love a person can do for others. It's no accident the feminist movement defines women cooking in the kitchen for their families an act of slavery, or to deride it as toiling away in the oppression of the "comfortable concentration camp." That's because feminism sells people on the lie that "love" is a feeling you experience. Love is not an adjective. Nor is it a feeling.

It is a verb describing actions you do for others.

Next to smell, taste is one of the strongest memories and connections we have.

There's a reason "Mom's Home style Cooking" or "Just Like Mom Used to Make" are some of the most well used marketing slogans to sell fast/convenience and restaurant dining in commercials, bill boards and advertisements.

Expect this practice to become outdated and forgotten within the next decade, since for most of the current generation of kids growing up, this phrase will become utterly meaningless.

Feminism has done more than break up the marriages between men and women, it's also broken one of the strongest, most sentimental bonds we human beings attach to our Mothers as children.

Memories of eating meals with Mom in the 20th Century:

Memories of eating meals with Mom in the 21st Century:

Got no time for a sit down meal at home, too busy havigitall!

Anyone feeling nostalgic for a meal with Mommy, like in those good ole days?


Sis said...

Timely, i'm simmering beef stew on the stove with rice while my husband is taking the kids sledding. Loved this post!

Black Poison Soul said...

I'm gonna steal those photos and meme them. "Happy meals with Mom in the 20th Century" and "Happy Meals with Mom in the 21st Century".

There is literally no better way for a mother to show love than cooking for her family.

Think I might incorporate cold rice into 2-3 meals a week too. Thank you for that tip, I've been wondering about my gut flora for the last couple weeks.

Eric said...

The kitchen traditionally has been a source of essential power for women.

Recently, I’ve been watching shows featuring subsistence living (eg, NatGeo’s Life Below Zero) and, related, hunter-gatherer cultures (eg, Ray Mears’s various series). They provide insight through the veil of modernity on human social-cultural roots. A main theme of the shows is that whole cultures, traditions, and social/family structures are built around food.

Food is life. Mom’s cooking is life. Wife and mom feeding her family with the most nutritious attainable foods, especially her children from her blood, then from her breasts, then from her kitchen, is as basic in human relationships as it gets. It’s powerful verging on godliness.

Separating mothers from the kitchen is a perversion.

AverageMarriedDad said...

This post hits it right on the head. Not sure why people haven't been able to figure out the fast, good homecooked options yet. It isn't really that hard for our busy family to eat well given these constraints. Examples include (like Sis said) roasts or stews or ribs from our hog or steer in a crockpot-thrown together in the morning, grass fed burger dishes (meatloaf, spaghetti sans noodles), steamed frozen veggies and our "emergency" fast home dish: Costco's quarter pound wild alaskan salmon patties. So easy and yet so far from 'Merican fast food it is ridiculous.

Elspeth said...

Very well said, Keoni. I really appreciate this one.

Hearth said...

People need the habit of cooking. I know 100 fast meals from the days when 1) I cooked for my mom every night 2) I cooked after work.

It doesn't need to be two hours in the kitchen. You can steam some broccoli in the microwave in less than 10 minutes while you (cast iron) pan fry some steaks. Or throw together a stirfry. Or burritos - I made a bazillion burritos when I was working. So fast, so easy. But people don't have the habit, don't know how to just do that. -sighs-

But of course if you cook well, then you'll spend all your time answering, "What's for dinner tonight, Mom?" -grins-

Marissa said...

"Just Like Your Careerist Mom Never Used to Make"

Anonymous said...

Growing up in a restaurant family, all three of us kids learned to cook at an early age. (two sons, one daughter)

Most people who come to our house, when invited for dinner, are stunned to see two people (my wife and I) doing what would be considered nothing short of a very well choreographed ballet as we dance around each other getting things prepared. They are also quite stunned when we talk about our home life in which family dinner around the table is actually an every day occurrence. We do not allow for "life" to be the excuse in this. Our sons are actually grateful for this. Their friends, who also come over from time to time to eat, do not have the same environment at home.

THIS IS A CHOICE!!! It is a priority.

It has been a blessing to have somebody who is on par with me as a cook. I can't say that was true earlier on in my life, as most of the women I was ever with before could NOT cook worth a damn. My son's girlfriends are already a bit intimidated as to what standard they would have to hold up to if they ever expected to land my sons for anything other than just some hot, temporary, high school they've both been instructed that, unless she can cook..... NO GO!!!

Jones said...

I remember going to my first pot luck in the United States as a contributing guest ...

I showed up with Thai red curry chicken with cardamom-cashew saffron fried rice.

The other "contributors" showed up with whatever they could grab from the deli section at their large grocery chain of choice.

Noticing the "food desert" these people created, I served myself a plate of my Thai red curry and fried rice before any of them could touch it.

Most of their stuff was untouched when everything was over, but I went home with empty (and dirty) containers.

I learned a very valuable lesson from that first pot luck: never, ever agree to a pot luck with Americans unless you first determine they know something about how to cook.

Unknown said...

Ah, home-cooked meals! And those memories of feeding the stuff we didn't like to the dog! And putting it back in the bowl when our parents were looking! And putting it at the bottom of the trash! Those were the days!

Keoni Galt said...

@ Bob - To cook is to love. Sounds like your folks gave you a lot of tough love...

@ Jones - you echo my lament, and I do the exact same thing....when I arrive at a potluck and discover my dish is the only home cooking, I load up my plate first.

Unknown said...

I got the "There are kids starving in China" routine. When I asked them to name one I got whacked with a slipper.

Our dog was fat. She did love those creamed peas.

MrTheHermit said...

If you cook something and take it elsewhere, expect it to get eaten fast. I usually show up with my portion already sectioned off... even if it's something as obvious as a missing brownie in a pan. I WILL get my share of what I make hahaha.

I've never been a picky eater so I only recently got the courage to share my cooking and the title of this hits the nail on the head... even with close friends it's a good feeling to eat a meal prepared from scratch together. I consider myself lucky that I had a mom who cooked regularly.

Jones said...

"And those memories of feeding the stuff we didn't like to the dog!"

I knew when the cat had been sneaking a bite of some of my food -- the cat would be sneezing uncontrollably because she thought that maybe this time, the curry wasn't spicy and that maybe, just maybe, she could have some coconut chicken goodness on the sly ...

The hilarious part was how the cat would look at me with this look that said, "You prick, you did this to me, you knew I couldn't resist having a bite -- I'll show you in the morning when I pounce on your solarplexus!"

Then I'd make curries all week, just to show the cat who's really the boss. :-)

not you said...

yo keoni

are you on oahu?

Anonymous said...

This is another reason to avoid American women when looking for wives---they can't cook worth SHIT.

And on top of it; the stuff they do eat makes them all FAT.

"Buy American"---Good Economic, but Terrible Marriage advice!

Unknown said...

Not surprisingly, my girlfriend's most recent attmept to cook for me ended up with HER having the biggest smile on her face. Giving love through food is one of the most wonderful feeling's a woman can have.

Keoni, any way to get in touch with you? Want to send you something tasty.

Anonymous said...

Reading your recent posts gave me an idea:

Since most 'liberated' modern women can't/won't cook; a lot of men have had to learn cooking themselves. How about a regular blog feature where we can talk about our favorite recipes and cooking tips?

What do you think of the idea?

Keoni Galt said...

not you - sometimes. ;-)

Noah - Thanks, but I don't accept gifts from strangers over teh Interwebz...not even emails!

Eric - I've always contemplating posting about recipes and cooking tips, but never felt the muse to actually start writing in depth on it. Perhaps I'll give it a try and see how it turns out...