Monday, December 20, 2010

Just Another Statistic


Divorce doubles suicide risk in men.

NEW YORK, Mar 15 (Reuters Health) -- Divorced or separated men are more than twice as likely to commit suicide as men who remain married, a US researcher reports.

But divorce and separation do not appear to affect suicide risk in women, according to Dr. Augustine J. Kposowa, of the University of California at Riverside.

Kposowa examined the link between suicide and marital status using data on nearly 472,000 men and women included in the National Longitudinal Mortality study. Between 1979 and 1989, 545 of these individuals committed suicide.

``Men were nearly 4.8 times as likely to commit suicide as women,'' the researcher writes in the March 15th issue of the Journal of Epidemiology and Community Health. Whites were at greater risk of suicide than African Americans, and individuals with household incomes between $5,000 and $9,999 were more likely to commit suicide than others. Suicide rates were also higher in older age groups, especially those aged 65 and older, and in residents of Western states.

In addition, divorce or marital separation more than doubled the risk of suicide in men, whereas in women, marital status was unrelated to suicide.

Kposowa suspects that this difference is related to the social networks men and women form outside their marriages, which may be stronger or more meaningful in women than in men.

``Women have better ways of communicating,'' Kposowa told Reuters Health in an interview. ``They may have more social support networks, friends and relatives that they talk to, whereas men don't have social support networks.''

Kposowa is looking at the data and missing the obvious by resorting to the old canard that "women are the better communicators," and that they "form stronger and more meaningful social networks."

Absolute horseshit.

I suspect that this difference is related to a family court system and domestic violence policies that allows a divorcing woman to use the police and the courts to deny access, visitation or even meaningful conversations over the telephone with a man's children.

Than the courts order child support that literally takes more income than the man can survive on, and he cannot pay for his things like property taxes to try and meet his child support obligations - despite not being able to see, talk to or hear from his children.

Soon, faced with the prospect of inevitable homelessness thanks to excessive child support, and slapped with a FIVE YEAR restraining order forbidding any contact with the ex-wife or the pre-adolescent children. FIVE FUCKING YEARS.

When next you're allowed to see your 8 year old daughter, she would be 13?

Men in this situation see no hope in living. So they give up, and take their own life.

It's not because they don't have enough friends, or meaningful social networks.

It's because they are cut off from that which they value more than their own lives: their flesh and blood offspring.

That is why divorced men are far more likely to kill themselves than divorced women.

I've seen this up close and real personal this past week.

My long time high school buddy is now just another statistic.

A statistic that is casually dismissed by gyno-centric researchers as the man's fault for not building up strong enough social networks and the male's inability to "communicate."

My friend had no problem communicating at all. In fact, he communicated extensively. I have now spent hours going through and reading his letters to his enstranged ex-wife. I read his letters to his children who the mother tried her hardest to alienate them from him, despite their very young ages. Most of all, I read his letters to himself, detailing all that he was feeling and experiencing as he went through the slow motion tragedy of being divested of his family and forced into onerous child support servitude so that the mother of his children would not have to go to work to pay for her car maintenance and car insurance. He was going to lose the house he inherited from his deceased parents because he couldn't keep up with the child support and the property taxes...while she lived in her parent's house and received food stamps and welfare.

This shit that we all blog about in the masculine blogosphere? It's very, very, very real.

And very serious. Behind every statistic, there is a story similar to my friend's, and it plays out every single day in this Post-Patriarchal, feminist-warped dystopia.

The system was designed to break us.

Some of us break sooner than others.

RIP Brother.


Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Life said...

Would it be possible / appropriate to recreate a time line with his letters published as blog posts as a memorial?

In Blogger it's fairly easy to set date and time stamps.

Links to suicide lines and men's rights sites as appropriate seems obvious things as well.

Just a thought.

Keoni Galt said...

Not doing it Athol. The survivors are people close to me. I may find different angles to discuss some aspects of this...but I won't be getting into much more personal details here than what I've already revealed in this post.

But thanks for the suggestion. Where I not so personally connected, it would be a good memorial.

Anonymous said...

Of course if the genders were reversed the lame stream media, NPR, Oprah, Hitlary, etc. would be all over this like dung beetles over you know what.-Norm

Anonymous said...

Keoni, I urge you to reconsider Athol Kay's idea. I can't think of a better way to turn this tragedy into something that could help raise aware of the terrible situations that many divorced fathers are forced into.

You could change the names, places and any significant details that might identify anyone. I think the real question is: would your friend want his story to be told if it could help change things?

The Great and Powerful Oz said...

There is no help or support available for men in our society, particularly middle aged straight white men. Society would prefer that we would just disappear.

I know there is no help for me. I know that no one will mourn my passing. I have learned these things through years of very painful experiences.

Burn Baby Burn said...

The system not only wants to break you, it wants to destroy you, then it will move on to destroy everyone outside the system, then it will turn in on itself. The thing I hate is that most people don't get that. Even the people inside the system have no future in this. These things just have to run thier course. Best you can do is get out of the way and let it burn.

greenlander said...

That's a very sad story.

Hopefully the grass-roots activity we're seeing on sites like this and on The Spearhead will help change this situation.

The cracks in the welfare state are starting to become very obvious. The only question remaining is what it will look like when the system falls apart.

peternolan9 said...

As a man who was very nearly one of these statistics? I know ALL about this. All the bullshit peddled is just that. Bullshit. It's about having your children stolen and abused and then being hated on for trying to stop it. Period.

This is why I wrote this book.

Anonymous said...

I supplied no-fee counseling to divorced fathers from 1984 to 1993. I quickly learned that ALL divorced fathers at least once, if only briefly, contemplated suicide. So, I stopped asking and simply discussed it.

I learned if you can make them laugh, which I could, get them a good night's sleep, and help them have a long term survival plan, odds of suicide go way down.

Anonymous age 68

Sarah Rolph said...

I'm very sorry for your loss.

May your happier memories of your friend provide some solace at this very difficult time.

Anonymous said...

If you are ready, to give your life, you should kill those, who created the problem, before killing yourself.


Captain Capitalism said...

I would also suggest the transfer of wealth goes from men to women and not the other way around. Ergo men have a harder time economically than women which adds just enough additional fiscal and psychological pressure to make it the straw that breaks the suicidal camel's back.

Anonymous said...

More men are waking up to the concept of screening their mates, knowing what they desire and getting it. When we realize that bachelorhood is preferable to submitting to a feminized woman, more and more of us will just opt out.

Living alone under your own conditions is the only way to go and damned be those who try to cajole us into marriage/parenthood.

J. Durden said...

Sorry for your loss, friend. This issue has interested me for a while, especially when you talk about suicide rates in the military. Everything you hear about suicide in the military, from the brass to the MSM, is that families are a great support network and blah blah blah. Watching the way the average spouse treats the average service member, however, gives you a different picture, and you start get get a sense that maybe the wives are the issue.

Take all the reasons you mentioned in your post, and then complicate them about 10 fold due to deployments and combat stress and what have you, and you've got your standard military marriage.

(Off topic but: Thanks for the link to my site in the side bar! I'd discovered somebody had clicked their way to my site through this post and was like WTF? Haha.)

Anonymous said...

Kala mai ia'u my friend.

PA said...

I recently had a friendly discussion with friends about why fathers should get custody preference with their children. It amounts to a simple principle: men are beter able to separate their selfishness from their parental instinct.

Men who would make poor fathers, or are uninterested in their kids, generally don't want them in the first place. But ones who want custody are 100% committed to these kids' well-being. That's why you can be sure that a man who wants custody is a good bet with regards to the child's welfare.

In contrast, a woman will always have enough residual maternal instinct to *always* want her kids with her, regardless of her commitment to actually caring for them. Thus, you have the ubiquitous scenario of single moms who let a series of boyfriends abuse the child, or immature women who dump the kid off on someone else while they go off to party.

Thus, with women it's not as easy to tell a good mother form a bad mother, because both kinds want the kid. Both kinds want the kid.

Divorce judges should use Solomonic wisdom in awarding custody: with rare exception of real and documented case of a father's unfitness, NEVER give full custody to a woman who fights the father's access to the children.

Why? because a good mother understands that a child needs a father, even if she personally happens to hate the man's guts. A woman who cuts off her child from his father is by definition an unfit mother.

Masked Writer said...

Stories like the one described here should encourage men to boycott marriage in Western countries or any country where Feminazism has taken control. Our current man-hater culture calls for severe social, psychological, and economic defensive strategies on the part of men. The number of men suffering under the current Feminazi regime grows daily. Your first line of defense is to never get married or if you are divorced, stay single at all costs and avoid the anti-family Feminazi court system which is the mother of all man-hater institutions.

Elspeth said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. There are no words...

Coles Insurance said...

This is a very sad story. It is quite scaring. I am quite wondering after knowing the report which released by U.S researcher. It is very Interesting. You aware the people about the divorce cases through this article. Thanks for sharing this article with us.

Anonymous said...

The problem is that men are taking their own lives. When they come to the realization that it's the judges and lawyers they must take out, then we'll see a seachange in the courts. They may accuse us of being domestic terrorists, but we'd have to throw it back on them first.


Anonymous said...

This is incredibly sad.

I've gone through divorce, too. I know how it can rip apart yous soul. I also know how little sympathy the female-dominated system has for men.

Women assume that men are the source. We're the source of money, the source of strength, and the source of hatred and anger, and the source of guilt. While they talk a good talk about equality, when it comes to extracting vengeance or support, we're nothing more than resources to be drained.

The family courts are savagely stacked against men. And yet, women still claim that all they want is equality.

The hypocrisy of the womens' movements is so brazen, it's shocking.

Anonymous said...

Keoni, I hope you will save those letters and give them to the kids when they reach 18. They need to know WHY their father is dead.