"To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day." - Lao Tzu
"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn." - Alvin Toffler
"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him." - Leo Tolstoy
Most of us take it for granted, but teh Interwebz is the greatest library of accumulated human knowledge the world has ever known. For the introspective autodidact, it is without a doubt, the greatest technological advancement in the history of mankind for both good and bad.
The best aspect of this tech, is the empowerment of the individual to do a virtual end-around all of the various gatekeepers of news and information. The Big Government-Big Business entity that is in the process of consolidating their control to bring us under a single one world tyranny can no longer simply use it's control of Big Media to dictate the narrative and control all thought.
On the other hand, the worst aspect of the world wide web is that it makes the Panopticon of Total Information Awareness a.k.a. perpetual surveillance on every citizen, everywhere, technically and feasibly possible.
In the not so distant future, "Unplugging from the Matrix" will no longer be just an allegory or abstract metaphor for contemplation, but an actual, physical action you will have to take (i.e. getting rid of your Mobile Affirmation Devices, unplugging the Tell-A-Vision and any other "smart" appliances, and cease using the Internet from any personally owned computers and devices), if you want to escape the all-seeing eye of Sauron.
But I digress.
The first three quotes I cite in this post, from Yoda (Lucas), Toffler and Lao Tzu, basically sum up my personal experiences with study in the University of the Autodidact. Almost every single facet of my personal life has been transformed, shaped and guided by all that I have learned, unlearned and relearned on teh Interwebz. The way I eat, sleep, cook, clean, shop...the way I socialize, the way I seek recreation, the way I parent my offspring, interact with my family and friends and the way I conduct myself in public whenever I am out in society at large...nothing I think and do has been unaffected or changed by all this time spent reading and writing in the virtual world.
But it is Tolstoy's quote that is the true impetus for this post.
"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him."
This, I think, is what lies behind the never ending cycle of debate and argument over "Game" in the MAndrosphere. Whether it's the Men's (Human) Rights Activists denouncing it as pussy begging or the God-fearing, devout Christians denouncing it as sinful nihilism, it seems to me that those who oppose this thing we call game have their minds firmly made up and are not willing to concede they may be mistaken or wrong, even when they read the anecdotal accounts and testimonies of the many people who weigh in with their own experiences on how discovering this Praxeology helped them learn, unlearn, and relearn how their attitudes, thoughts, posture, demeanor, presentation and confidence play a role in relating to others, male and female alike.
Faced with so many anecdotes of the personal transformations so many folks attribute to game, the ideologically opposed grant no quarter, refuse to spare one inch of concession that perhaps there is something of positive value here. At this point, I have to simply concede the following - if and when you come across the topic of Game on teh Interwebz, you will either "get it," or you won't. If you don't get it, or don't want to get it, great...not my problem. But if you want to tell me I'm wrong, you can try your best to convince me, but at this point I've seen it all before. Give me a new argument, because all of the other ones you've used before fail to overcome the truth of my own personal experiences and observations.
So rather than engage in yet another round of debate by engaging with the naysayers, denouncers and detractors by fisking or responding to any specific objectors posting or comments, I'm going to focus the rest of this post to discuss why I advocate people can gain much from the study of this controversial endeavor.
I also intend (but no guarantees!) for this to be my last and final post on this topic of "WHY GAME?" At this point, I'm done debating and disagreeing over this.
When I first came across the topic of Game on teh Interwebz, I had spent my entire life being indoctrinated and brainwashed into being a NICE GUY. From Generation X onward, this is the mainstream cultural paradigm we were all inculcated with via mass media programming, institutional educational curriculum and for most of us raised as Christians, the Feminine Imperative-based culture of Churchianity.
Discovering the discussion of Game by the PUA's and the PUA wannabes on teh Interwebz was literally THE "Red Pill" that lead me down the path of unlearning all this cultural indoctrination that had turned me into a NICE GUY. When I started reading about such things as hypergamy, shit tests, unapologetic masculinity, dominance, keeping/maintaining frame and how so many aspects of femininity and masculinity have been twisted, distorted and warped, it only took me less than a couple of days of reading and ruminating to grasp the big picture of just how badly I had been learned into dysfunction.
In short, conforming to the Brave New World Order's societal conditioning turned me into a bitch. As Matt Forney notes:
“Bitch” is a common insult, but no one really thinks about what it means. The interesting thing about the word “bitch” is that its meaning is different depending on the sex of who you’re insulting with it.
Female bitches are typically combative, mean, miserable and bossy; in other words, they’re masculine.
Male bitches are typically catty, passive-aggressive, whiny and gossipy; in other words, they’re feminine.
So when you attack someone by calling them a “bitch,” you’re accusing them of failing to live up to the ideal of their sex.
Ah yes, that is precisely what a NICE GUY is, a bitch. Prior to reading up on the topic of Game, I was utterly and completely clueless about how and why I had become one. But boy do I remember those days well:
Why do you have to be so upset all the time?
What should I do? What would you like me to do?
Yes, Dear.
Would you like to do this? How about that?
Please, Hon?
What do you mean you can't do this anymore?
I'm sorry.
What do you mean you're unhappy? How can I make you happy?
Can I call you tomorrow?
Would you like to have sex tonight? Why not? PLEASE?!?!
Girls night out? I hope you have fun with the girls then!
I'm so sorry!
If it will make you happy, than I'll do it.
But I had plans! I made you a nice dinner, and picked up a good bottle of wine and I rented that movie you wanted to see and...... ah well, that's okay. Don't worry about it. You go out and have fun, I'll just save the food in the fridge and reheat it for you tomorrow. Don't worry about, it's not a big deal...I understand the sale ends tomorrow and you and your friends need to take advantage of it while it's so cheap. Have fun, and know that I'll be thinking of you while you girls are shopping! Love you!
Would you like this one, or would you like that one?
Will you accept my apology?
If you don't like it, I have the receipt so that you can return it and get something you do like!
Would you like to hear this song your beauty inspired me to write for you?
I'll make it up to you...I PROMISE!
What do you think about this? Is it good? Do you like it? Maybe you'll like it better if did this instead?
What should we do today?
How come you never want to have sex anymore?
Why won't you accept my apology?
Wow, he's such a jerk! Why do your friends always go out with guys like that?
Should we go to counseling?
Can I go fishing with Dave this weekend? PLEASE?!?!
Would you like me to hold your purse for you?
Will you make love to me?
Sure I'll get your tampons for you....which brand do you prefer? Absorbent or Super-Absorbent? Do you need any pads, too?
Where do you want to go? What would you like to eat?
OF COURSE you don't look fat in those jeans!
I feel like we need to work on our communication skills. I feel like we don't have meaningful conversations anymore, and I really want us to become more intimate.
Would it be okay if I go surfing with Joe tomorrow? I'll be back in time so we can do something...
NO, I was NOT looking at her!
Okay, I'll sell it or give it away...I don't really need it.
I'm sorry.
Anything you want...I'll do it!
What do you mean I always lie? I do NOT!
Do you love me as much as I love you?
Would you like to hear this poem I wrote for you?
Steve is having his bachelor party this weekend. Don't worry though, I'm not going, as there will be strippers there and I know how you don't want me to be around things like that. Don't worry, it's okay, he'll understand. Yeah, we've been friends since elementary school, but he knows how important our relationship is and that I would never disrespect you like that!
You are the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth!
How can we make our relationship better?
Can you please kiss me?
I'm sorry....
Do you need help with that?
Yes, it's my fault...again. I'm sorry.
Would you like me to....
Hey....I said I'm sorry!
Please don't hang up on me....hello? HELLO?!?!?
Oh the painful recollections of my former self and how I lived a life walking on eggshells and fearful dishonesty. Re-reading that again makes me want to retch. It makes me want to travel back in time and kick my bitch-ass self in the balls. Except even that wouldn't be possible, as my balls were safely hidden away in her purse.
I was just trying to be the Nice Guy. The archetype of the supposed type of guy women say they want.
Trying to do and be all the things a man is supposed to, to make the relationship work. Being sensitive to her needs. Striving to please her, and make sure to avoid upsetting her as much as possible.
Checking with her on everything.
Constantly asking for reassurance that she was happy. Constantly asking for her approval.
Making sure I was trying not to do anything that would upset her. This included telling a lot of "white" lies to try and avoid upsetting her. Striving to be supportive.
To let her needs, wants and desires supersede my own at every potential conflict.
This is precisely how guys slide into attraction killing "Beta-tude."
I was trying to live the
This is also how I almost ended up divorced. Thanks to the great unlearning gleaned from the insights of Game, I am today a Father, a Husband, and the unquestioned leader and head of MY household.
And the one overriding, most important principle I came to in my study of Game, was that the unapologetic, unashamed embrace of masculinity is found through honesty....honor and truth as venerated throughout history in all of the Great Books for Men. **lozlzolzol**
Game gave me the means to step outside of myself and see just how dishonest I was being in striving to be NICE. It allowed me to recognize how I was learned by society at large to become a bitch, and gave me the starting point to unlearn all those attitudes and behaviors, so that I could relearn the authentic meaning of masculinity. As noted in my past post, The Priamary Trait of the AMC: Fearful Dishonesty:
When I was an Average Married Chump, I was a liar. A dishonest weasel. I lied all the time. Most all of it was so-called "white lies." And it wasn't just in relation to my wife, but with my peer group, my work-place colleagues and school classmates...everyone.
This was because I lived my life afraid to upset other people. I tried to always find what I mistakenly thought of as the path of least resistance. To use dishonesty to avoid conflict. For instance, if I were invited to participate in something I did not care to, I would scramble for a convenient excuse -- A LIE -- instead of being honest and straightforward and saying, "no thanks, I'm not interested in doing that."
The real problem with that is when you spin webs of deceit, you eventually get tangled up and caught. It is inevitable if your whole social life is based on trying to avoid upsetting people by lying to them. And from the perspective of the woman you are having a relationship with, it is the ultimate respect-killer.
This is how "game" showed me truth, and eventually brought me to Truth. Women's attraction and respect are based on hypergamy. Being a bitch of a NICE GUY puts you into the role of supplicant, the beta-orbiter and puppy dog douche, pussy whipped and stumbling around in a oneitis-induced stupor of idiocy. This leads to contempt and the unhaaaapppppiness of your spouse. Keep it up long enough, and you end up caught and ground up in the wheels of injustice in our anti-family court systems.
Reverse-engineering this sad state of affairs was only made possible by discovering this thing called game.
I know what I know, because it was knowledge and experience gained through personal trials and tribulations, brought about by much introspection and unlearning all of the regularly scheduled programming of relationship dysfunction in our Brave New World Order.
When I contemplate the topic of Game, I am not distracted nor side-tracked by the moral and spiritual judgement of its foremost practitioners who indulge in hedonistic and nihilistic debauchery. That is where you can go with it, but that does not define it in it's sum totality.
Based on my personal experience, I am firmly persuaded that I knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before me.
47 comments:
I remember that post. It was the one that convinced me that I have something to learn here.
Well said. On many issues, especially the need to argue game's utility with those that are decidedly against it.
Remember, the people you debate aren't the only people reading your blog and learning.
@ Eric - we agree to disagree on "Game" but I think on most things, we agree more than we disagree..no? :-)
@ redlegben - Thanks. I trust you and SD are settled in from your recent move?
Keoni,
Different Eric. I'm the MGTOW who called out voodoojock's flawed premise in your last post and said, respect the enemy.
I've only occasionally commented here but I do check in semi-regularly. There are different flavors of red pill and this blog is one of the more agreeable flavors for me.
My view of Game is that I find it repugnant. One of my roommates during my early 20s, the peak of my blue-pill romantic idealism, was a self-labeled "playa". He disgusted me. He was also regularly successful getting with 'quality' women, including women I knew to be in committed relationships.
I despised what he represented and I badly wanted to prove in my romantic life that his way was wrong and my way was the right way. My approach with my oneitis objects was like yours and the hapless Leif Erikson's.
I proved I was wrong.
Swallowing the red pill means I accept the utility of Game and the truth of the reasons and principles underlying Game. I now accept men who use Game are merely doing what works with women, which is justifiable since my preferred way doesn't work.
I'm MGTOW because I can't bring myself to apply Game. I agree with your take on it, but I'm still disgusted by it. Yes, I recognize I'm disgusted with praxeologic reality.
It can be really hard to kill the nice guy... being a kind and caring man. But a few kicks in the head by some of the cunts running around out their should do the trick for most men.
@Keoni,
That post of yours was a milestone in my life too. I was reading Roissy because I liked the way he talked about feminism, but I thought game had nothing to offer me. Still have zero interest in being a PUA. Then he quoted your Red Pill post, and I read it, and I suddenly Got It. Nothing to do with sluts in bars. I finally saw exactly how I'd screwed things up with some pretty decent women, including the one I'd settled down with -- which was a very serious matter. And I knew where to start fixing it. Didn't happen in a day, but it happened. She won't admit now that the bad times ever even happened. Women want to believe a good relationship is just magic. If I fixed it, it isn't magic.
A deeply anti-male and anti-Christian society told me all my life to do some really dumb things that hurt me and were ruining my marriage. The anti-gamers say the commandments we get from feminism and the TV are sacred, never to be disobeyed or questioned, but you know what?
They're nuts.
Thanks for that post.
Holy crap, awesome post.
Like the other commenters, I remember that post vividly since it also described me to a T. What I wouldn't give to have my 20s back.
Yes, we are settling in to our sub-zero new home.
@ Steve Baker
"The anti-gamers say the commandments we get from feminism and the TV are sacred, never to be disobeyed or questioned"
Don't misrepresent us. The ones most fervent in the cause think nothing like that. I know that Game is true, I know it works. Knowing that it works doesn't mean that I view it as right, it means that I view game as a seduction away from good based on Prideful temptations of the Devil. I see truth that has been perverted of what Masculinity is into what Game and seduction are. I respect Game, but I still denounce it as evil.
As Keoni pointed out in his last post, there are those of us that are offering alternatives. I'll self admit that it's a work in progress, and that I'm at the beginning of those answers. I'm someone who practiced Game, got very good at it, and developed himself. Then I converted, denounced game for what it is, and explored a Godly Masculinity.
It will be a journey for the answer, but I'm personally excited for it. Don't denounce us all as supporters of Godless Feminism and Satanic Woman-worship when I desire nothing so much as a Godly retribution against the liars, false prophets, and preachers of heresy I see in todays world. I denounce them with my actions and words, blogging under my own name while I do so.
You don't need to agree with me. Just stop lying about our intentions and let us search for the Truth of Masculinity within Gods love as we strive to become Patriarchs as shown to us in the Bible.
Women really do *not* want men to act like girlfriends with man parts, even though many feminists and castrated men loudly claim otherwise.
Chad, shut up. We see through the many flavors of "only my [whatever I want to call the reality of human relations - i.e., the principles of Game] is the right way," and don't care about holier than thou's anymore.
". . . let us search for the Truth of Masculinity within Gods love as we strive to become Patriarchs as shown to us in the Bible. "
Have you tried sending your married intended's husband off on a suicide mission?
Dude. My blog never updates on your blog roll. That's what I came to say. But since I'm here:
I was just trying to be the Nice Guy. The archetype of the supposed type of guy women say they want.
Trying to do and be all the things a man is supposed to, to make the relationship work. Being sensitive to her needs. Striving to please her, and make sure to avoid upsetting her as much as possible.
Checking with her on everything.
Constantly asking for reassurance that she was happy. Constantly asking for her approval.
Making sure I was trying not to do anything that would upset her. This included telling a lot of "white" lies to try and avoid upsetting her. Striving to be supportive.
To let her needs, wants and desires supersede my own at every potential conflict.
My husband insists that you need not study "game" to rectify being like this.
My husband insists that you need not study "game" to rectify being like this.
Which makes sense, after all there is a subset of men who embody naturally the characteristics and mannerisms of Christian masculinity and authority. They can quite literally read the Bible, understand what it has to say regarding such things and own it. There are salesmen who will never need to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People." In fact, they can not understand why anyone would need to read such basic truths of human interaction, Christian men will promise you those truths are in the Bible, yet many of the 15 million who have purchased this book, implemented change, and become more successful salesmen are indeed Christians who have read their Bibles.
This is why it was so entertaining when Vox used to have guest bloggers who self identified from each of the categories of the socio sexual hierarchy. Natural Alphas had one thing to say: "dude, be a man." Regardless if they were Christian or agnostic.
If a man has ever behaved in one of the ways Keoni has listed, he is not a natural and thus will need to learn how to rectify being like this (should he so choose).
While your husband insists that one not need to study game what is it he offers to instruct those who are like this to change? Other than "read the Bible" and "dude, be a man." Does he truly understand that this is how many men behave towards their wives? Does he understand this is how men have been told to treat their wives from their parents, pastors and peers? Does he know why it doesn't work, isn't good, and makes marriages suffer? Does he know why his method does work? And, if he does know, that there's something to it other than a mystery, then it stands to reason there are truths to be taught.
Yes to all of your questions SD. My husband interacts with men a lot about this stuff. They call him with their marriage woes precisely because they see how much more behaved his wife is than theirs. But they are so afraid of their wives that they do not heed his advice.
I told this story at Sunshine's a while back but it's a classic example of what he deals with.
SAM has a young relative, 27 I believe, who has been married 3 years. He ignored his parents' counsel, ditched the girl they liked and married the girl he liked, a preacher's daughter. All good, right?
She's more than a handful and when she gets really angry she hits him where it hurts and destroys his stuff. They were coming up on their 2nd anniversary and he had a nice weekend getaway planned for them. A couple of weeks before hand, she got really angry and tossed a cinder block at his windshield on her way out the door. He called my husband: "What should I do."
My husband told him, "You cannot take her on that trip. Call an cancel the hotel. Sit her down and tell her that the money you were going to use for the trip you now have to use to replace the windshield she broke in the car that you use to go to work and keep a roof over her head. Be calm. Don't yell. Tell her you're going to have to scale back and go out for a nice dinner on your anniversary, but that's all you can do now."
You know what that husband said? He couldn't do that. She's never understand. She knows he can afford to fix the car and still take her. Excuse, excuse, excuse. So he took her.
They weren't back at home a month before she smashed his cell phone.
This is typical. They call. They come over. He advises, sometimes using Scripture although SAM was always like this.
And they pretend to listen, and chicken out when they have to stand face to face with their wives.
So yeah, my husband although not part of the gender wars in this way, is trying to do his part to help men navigate these things.
So it is possible to do so without a game handbook.
I remember too many times where my friends and I would sit and wonder what in the world was going on.
I mean, we were the nice guys, right? So, where are the girls at? Why are they with Jerk X today? Why is it that I am a sounding board for their screwed up relationships but not relationship material myself?
I must admit that it was the good Lord that started me out of that (frankly) disgusting time of my life. The Red Pill knowledge only accelerates my un-learning of the old.
It is hard though; the old way is pounded into you by your parents, your church, society at large. But I have since learned that my parents, while very much to admire, didn’t know everything, my church was no longer God fearing, and society at large just basically sucks. Red Pill here I come.
Elspeth,
Obviously SAM would never be in that guys situation, but he did have good advice for how a man could handle it (disciplining his wife's behavior). So, this man, with the unruly wife, should he emulate what SAM would do in marriage might experience...what?
-the benefits of behaving as God has called him to with regards to his marriage.
And, should this man properly emulate what SAM would do in marriage, his wife would experience...what?
-respect for her husband, security in his masculinity, humility, a calming of her irrational rage now that she knows she's no longer in control (which is unnatural for women and causes stress to her which is demonstrated in belligerent behavior).
What would you call this emulating of another man's successful behavior in order to develop a successful marriage relationship?
What would you call this emulating of another man's successful behavior in order to develop a successful marriage relationship?
I would call it whatever they called it when men mentoring younger men was normal and before masculinity was packaged as a way to train men to bed as many women as they can.
We used to call it "growing up."
Game is you controlling your own life. You control how you look and feel physically/mentally/emotionally. In my youth, I had no problem attracting all types of women/girls. Now, at close to 50, I still am having no problem attracting women half my age using the exact same charisma/confidence I had in my youth. Paleo, lifting weights, exercising and having entertaining hobbies is making it very easy to control my life to this day and I see no end to the joy I will create for myself and others.
before masculinity was packaged as a way to train men to bed as many women as they can.
That training/knowledge has always been useful to bed women. The Bible wouldn't be as full of warnings against it if it weren't a thing even back then. As always, the Christian will choose what he does with any information/knowledge/skill/wisdom/training he has. He'll either use it in a manner pleasing to God or in a manner unpleasing to God. Doesn't change the information/knowledge/skill/wisdom/training.
The man in your example could very well start implementing the advice he gets from SAM to have any number of affairs with other women. It will work to bed women. Does that make what SAM advised him wrong/evil/unChristian?
Elspeth:
As I've said too many times to count, SAM is a bull alpha. A natural with women and as a man.
'Nuff said.
deti
What would you call this emulating of another man's successful behavior in order to develop a successful marriage relationship?
I would call it whatever they called it when men mentoring younger men was normal and before masculinity was packaged as a way to train men to bed as many women as they can.
As Cane recently noted...it was called Patrimony.
But now we have generations of men raised by single mothers, either by choice or by divorce. And then, even of those who come from 2 parent homes like mine, the mass media secular programming and the influence of feminist infiltrated Churchianity all contribute to raising generations of pussy whipped, fearful AND worshipful of women, put-her-on-a-pedestal NICE guys.
Game does nothing more than:
1) provide a theoretical framework of male female interactions;
2) giving men permission to be the way they would be naturally.
Before I was aware, I would sometimes be successful with interactions with females merely because I am not a doormat. To me game = backbone. However, my nice guy training would often trip me up. Now, I have an intellectual framework through which I can understand what females want from me and am more likely to consistently give it. This has nothing to do with fuzzy hats, sluts, and nail polish.
I think the "debate" is really about people not wanting to accept the world as it is. Unfortunately, the world is what it is and you are what you are. Knowledge is amoral. The morality of knowledge comes from its application. Anyone that wants you to be ignorant has an agenda. Don't be ignorant.
After learning Game, anyone who remains in a relationship that isn't mutually beneficial has only himself to blame.
deti
Elspeth,
your husband sounds like a real tool. But I do have to give you proper regards for standing up for him, although he clearly hasn't realized yet THAT HIS METHOD ISN'T WORKING!.
You know, most men call a man like him a word.....failure. He's trying to help. Other men come to him for advice and help for some of the most fundamental difficulties that men can struggle with, and he hasn't yet owned up to the fact that his pride is preventing him from changing and trying something that would work.
Why doesn't he just tell them "Just be attractive","don't be unattractive", and "be more like me"?
I don't care if his heart is in the right place, because his pride is making him self-sabotage his efforts to help others.
One possible word of advice I'd give him, just based on your comments on this post:
He needs to ridicule these men to their face. Like the Godfather did to that singer who was crying in Godfather 1, where he slapped him in the face and told him to start acting like a man.
Men need to hear harsh words spoken in love from a man that they respect. Where the man explicitly calls them on the carpet for bad behavior, and then and only then offers some useful advice.
And as others have noted, he seems to do to the typical natural alpha sneering at game, even married man christian game.
JCClimber:
SAM is a natural alpha. Like most other naturals around these parts, he just doesn't understand why guys don't "just get it".
Their advice amounts to little more than "come on, guys! Just be attractive! Just don't be unattractive! Just be handsome!"
That 27 year old man is dealing with an overgrown spoiled brat bitch. He needs to treat her as such until the behavior is corrected.
I'd tell him to go full on Dread. He should leave for hours at a time and not tell his wife where he is going. He should tell her in no uncertain terms that more outbursts like that will result in a divorce filing and total all out war. Hell, she's ALREADY declared war on him; he'd be responding in self-defense.
deti
Interesting JCClimber.
My husband a failure? Why do men flock to a failure of a man for his advice? That's a new one on me.
But okay. Not gonna argue with that one.
It is true that he doesn't see any value in Game. I won't argue with that part.
Oh one more thing. I do wonder how the counsel he gave amount to "Be more attractive! Don't be unattractive!"
Concrete steps to a problem are bad advice only when the recipient is too fearful to act. It's alright though. The world is full of people too afraid to change.
It doesn't matter what men like my husband said if the man is living in fear. And he can't fix that. Only they can.
Great post.
I have a question though. I see you quoted Alvin Toffler. Are you thoroughly familiar with this man? From what I've read, he's not exactly the best person to relate unplugging from the matrix with: http://www.themoralliberal.com/2010/01/07/democrats-in-drag-steve-farrell/
And http://youtu.be/jWPz1Qdq1uI
Buck
Here's another direct link that specifically talkes about Toffler and Gingrich.
http://www.themoralliberal.com/2010/01/30/gingrich-toffler-and-gore-a-peculiar-trio-steve-farrell/
Buck
A sure way to get me going is to say something untoward about my man.
One of the things he often tells them is this: "So long as you're afraid of her not much that I say is going to help you."
That should be insult enough to get any man with even half a pair to wake up. But they don't have to live with him. They have to live with her. So they choose the path of least resistance and temporary peace.
No Buck, never heard of Toffler before. I just do like I always do when I blog, I do a google image search by keywords and pick a pic or two to use for my post. One of the pics that came up on a google image search was Toffler and that quote.
Whatever his views and beliefs are, I agree with his quotation 100%.
This is not just the information age, it's the misinformation and disinformation age too.
Literacy in our current era is now undeniably tethered to determining veracity.
No worries, Keoni.
If you check out those links though, it's like learning Political Game for the first time. Makes the political market so much clearer. Makes me even more than 100% sure that I did the right thing some 15 years ago by switching my voting affiliation to unaffiliated. Those f#ckers on both sides are pushing hard to build a one-world sh!thole devoid of any individual(or masculine) freedoms.
Buck
So they choose the path of least resistance and temporary peace.
Right and this in no way helps him in the long run, nor does it help her become what she really can be as his help meet. What JC is likely saying is it's not enough just tell him the "what to do" and not empathizing with why he's doing what he's doing, why she's responding the way she's responding, and the reason what he's suggesting will work in the long run. If he would sincerely tell the man he understands because he's heard testimony after testimony of men with similar marriages and they've been able to implement within themselves some changes that have benefited them and their marriages to great extent. "Though it comes naturally to me and therefore I have a harmonious marriage, let me show you where you can read of men who were once in the boat you're in." What JC is picking up on is that either your husband doesn't care to do that or simply does not realize the validity of what men like Keoni have said about the changes he's been able to make. Sounding gong comes to mind when men hear other men just express a "man up" message and then an insult to their person because they don't know what they don't know.
JC is picking up on is that either your husband doesn't care to do that or simply does not realize the validity of what men like Keoni have said about the changes he's been able to make.
My husband is of the Cane Caldo school of thought: A Christian man should be able to master her fears in every area to the point that he does what needs to be done, speaks the truth in love, and refuses to be cowed by evil, no matter the cost to himself. Period. Full stop.
Anything offered around these parts which is godly advice? He's said it to men who call on him in one way or another. What he cannot do for them is quell their fear.
Game cannot do that. Reading blogs cannot do that. If a man whom you trust, admire and respect. whose marriage you have seen up close and personal cannot convince you, nothing will.
The other thing that you all seem to fail to grasp is that most men are not going to get this stuff. Same as most people fail to lose weight permanently. Old habits die hard.
Most men are not willing to dig that deep. It's not the anti-game people, or the natural alphas who are too selfish to care that are the problem.
I meant "master his fears".
And no it doesn't happen overnight, but it should happen over time.
A cowardly man is not attractive, but that's not why he chooses not to be cowardly. It's just a side benefit.
This is why the clearing house of ideas is so useful. For example, Vox's breakdown of the sociosexual hierarchy is very useful to identify the men who will never get it and the men for whom there is hope but one size does not fit all.
The same is true with The Great Commission. There are some I will never reach. Thankfully there are others who can reach those I can not.
Some men overcome fear by observing a fearless man, become inspired by him and go for it (a man observing you and SAM's marriage, for example). However, some men will overcome fear by observing the most miserable failures crash and burn and get up again - seeing that they could likely attempt and not fail as miserably as that schmuck.
These blogs offer it all.
They are also extremely useful for women to identify where their husband's are in their thinking. When I finally correctly identified my husband as not only a phlegmatic but a natural delta as well, so many things became clear to me. You have no idea how much I respect his having overcome his natural inclination to be overly attentive to me. As well I also now understand why he held me at such a high standard. He truly believed in equality. He did not know that I am not naturally as logical as he is. He expected more from me than what I had within me. He expected me to respond to him as a man would - because we're supposed to be equal.
Funny too, I can know that my husband is doing something that doesn't come natural to him, he is forcing a response to a situation when years ago his response would be more docile and supplicating - even knowing this, it still has the same positive effect on me.
I think he finds the same to be true with me. When I respond to him in submission in certain circumstances when years ago I would have bowed up, he knows it might be something I am doing despite my natural inclination, he can almost see the battle I am going through in my head (one of obedience to God's call for me vs. rebellion) and yet it will feel the same to him as those circumstances when submission comes easy to me.
Elspeth: "before masculinity was packaged as a way to train men to bed as many women as they can."
That's not an accurate generalization of Game.
First, 'outer' Game as applied by men seducing women, for whatever purpose, is not the same thing as 'inner' Game, or Positive Masculinity, which is advocated by the entire Manosphere, including both PUAs and Christian patriarchs.
Second, that Game is about inspiring, building, and maintaining a woman's sexual attraction and her sexual attraction is the necessary condition for her romantic love is a tenet of Game, as explained by early Roissy and others.
Game, as such, isn't primarily about notch count, though that is the stated motivation for many PUAs. Game is primarily about empowerment and options for men, including the option to defend one's marriage and family from a wife's feral nature and rationalization hamster.
For example, current Manosphere object lesson Leif Erikson would have benefited from Game, not to cheat on Jenny, but to preemptively protect his Christian marriage.
FWIW "dishonesty to avoid conflict" has gotten me in trouble with my husband more times than I can count.
"Niceness" is overrated. Let's shoot for goodness, godliness, kindness... not "niceness".
It doesn't even work for girls.
Oh, and I get women asking for my advice all the time, much as SAM has men asking for his. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them drink.
In my *copious* experience, they usually wander off if they don't want to take your advice, then come back a few years later with a new version of the same song.
I'm starting to think all advice should come with two caveats: 1) That the counselee be willing to get real with God and work on their personal relationship with Him and 2) they be willing to do the work.
Pity I'm not enough of a hard --- to make that stick, but maybe I'll learn.
I suppose you could call it "unlearning". But if you do not set your knowledge up as an idol, it is easy to exchange outdated information for better data. Since I was never emotionally invested in the existence of planets I cannot see with my eyes, it really made no difference to me when they declared Pluto was not a planet, and thus the list I memorized in school was no longer valid. Pluto still exists after all, so nothing has really changed. Just some dweebs getting published by changing definitions.
The same logic can be applied to so much of what I know. Most of it, I have to take other people's word for and they are total strangers. So if different total strangers tell me they have some new understanding. Fine. Whatever.
It is only those facts and knowledge that affect me personally, like how much beer is in a quart, that I become more established in what I think I know, and the burden of proof to make me change is on the newcomer. If you come here telling me a quart is 10% less beer today, you need to be pretty convincing because I was pretty OK with what it was yesterday.
--Hale
Hale: "It is only those facts and knowledge that affect me personally ... that I become more established in what I think I know"
This is a key re-calibration in switching to a MGTOW perspective.
Example:
Global warming does not affect me personally, so I don't care if any of the theories about how it works is right or wrong.
The attempts by the US government to defraud billions of dollars from American citizens and send it to third world countries as an environmental reparations (Kyoto treaty), does affect me, so I am totally against it.
Attempts by the Federal government to drive up the prices I pay for energy by making the most plentiful types illegal, does affect me, so I am totally against them.
The harm the govt wants to do to me IS VERY important to me. Much more important that esoteric theories about carbon's role in atmospheric warming over the past 10,000 years.
This post... is real music. Thank you for doing great art.
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