The Technical Ecstasy of Handheld MADness

 

If one wants to see true democracy in action, than one need only consider the one trend for which the majority throughout the world have most decidedly embraced. It is the defining paradigm of our time. If you too care to keep up with the trend and follow the herd, one need only get a Mobile Affirmation Device (M.A.D.), download the appropriate apps, and log on to the social MEdia and join in the fun of mutually assured delusions.

 

As a child of Generation X (aka Gen eXtended adolescence), I used to consider smart phone addiction as just a minor first world problem for Millenials and Generation Z. Nowadays, I stare in dumbfounded amazement at how swiftly and completely the iBorg has assimilated across all the generations of we the sheeple. Nearly all denizens of our Brave New World Order are now plugged in to the mindmeld of endless solipsism supply on teh Interwebz, thanks to the unholy combination of NSA data-mining apps social MEdia and the 24-7 connection to M.A.D.'s.

I recently attended a concert, the first in several years, and this is the view I had of the performance for the entire evening:

It is almost as if it has not been captured by your M.A.D., uploaded to the cloud, then posted-tweeted-pinned or emailed, it never really happened.

Resistance seems futile. While I do own a M.A.D., I do have my virtual affirmations apps set to the lowest possible settings - i.e. I basically don't use my iPhone for texting, email or social MEdia.  All that stuff can wait until I get home to the desktop for my digital media fix.

Drugs are bad Mm'kay

Of all the dystopian fiction I've consumed in novels, regularly scheduled tell-a-vision programming and movies over the past three decades or so, as far as I can recall, not a single one predicted our present day palm zombie apocalypse and the widespread and nearly uncontrollable addiction to virtual approval dispensed by a handheld device many ultimatelly end up loving more than life itself.

Besides the very real dangers of M.A.D. distracted driving, the culture of self-obsession and a desire to project an idealized self-portrait to incessantly seek out virtual peer approval and validation has taken on a life of it's own and nearing pandemic proportions.

In previous generations, we had a tradition of fairy tales and stories that warned the next generation of youth about the pitfalls of the seven deadly sins, including narcissistic self-absorption and envy...especially for young women.

"Mirror, Mirror, on the wall....

"...who's the fairest of them all?"

Times they are a changin'.

"Smart phone, smart phone in my hand...

 

...who is the sexiest slut in all the land?"

Used to be, when a young girl engaged in behavior that had potentially serious long term negative affects on her life, like revealing and potentially embarassing pictures stored forever in cyberspace, the previous generation of older relatives like her mother or her aunts would set her straight and give her badly needed guidance in navigating the world of dating and inter-gender relations....

Keepin' it classy, Momma!

Such inter-generational guidance is long gone. 

Don't even bother asking Grandma...she's got her own affirmations to solicit from her own M.A.D.

 But it's not just teh Womynz. Since it now seems like I've turned into an old drunken curmudgeon with a gun sitting on the porch yelling at the youth to get off my lawn, I'll give any young gents reading some badly needed inter-generational guidance:

Be circumspect and self conscious about how you utilize your M.A.D.'s. Save it for that which is really important!

Several years ago, I used to read about this thing called "transhumanism" and think that the day man and machine are melded into a bio-mechanic organism was just far-fetched SyFy fantasty. Now I know I was wrong in that initial assessment. Transhumanism is already here.

Our egos and our sense of self have been captured, uploaded and photoshopped into the best possible virtual representational avatar of who we are in teh real life.

Where does this phenomenon end up? Where are we going as a species with this new found addiction to the hagiographic distortions of virtual handheld reflections of unreality?

Never fear, for when the end is near, not a moment shall be missed by the masses of M.A.D. wielding observers!