Friday, April 4, 2014

I've Been iASSIMILATED



I resisted as long as I possibly could... but the inevitable has come to pass.

I have succumbed to the virus, and i am now another casualty in the global pandemic that has afflicted nearly all of mankind, laying waste to social cohesion and traditional norms of what used to be known of as standards of congeniality in a civilized, "polite society."

I am sitting in my local outlet of corporatist fair trade coffee drinks to connect to teh Interwebz via free wi fi to make the first ever Hawaiian libertarian post via iPhone.

Lulz... now I understand the epidemic of auto correct denunciations and "this damn phone" lamentations found in nearly every comment thread and forum throughout the 'sphere.

I never intended to ever find myself in this particular situation, but then I never counted on a friend offering me one of these hypnotic hand held devices for free, since he recently upgraded to the latest release from the worlds foremost monger of  Mobile Affirmation Devices.

So now I sit here amongst my fellow palm zombies, sipping java and staring intently down at my little glowing touchscreen, ignoring real people to communicate with virtual people logged on and dropped out all over the rest of the planet.

I don't know how this is going to affect my constant battle with  virtual addiction to teh Interwebz, but one thing is for certain... I need to figure out how to turn on Pidgin mode for Siri!





23 comments:

Anonymous said...

I had to double check the date to make sure this wasn't posted on the 1st...

Please let us know when you recover :)

Alte said...

This made me laugh.

Welcome to the Borg.

Retrenched said...

Oh no... damn...

Sent from my Galaxy S4

Amy said...

Alte is back! this is the first I've seen her comment anywhere. Granted i'm not reading anywhere nearly as widely as before, but...

KG, it's not biggie. The Yellowstone Caldera will blow soon. If you're not dead, they'll have bigger problems than trying to track down your forthright, impudent backside.

Keoni Galt said...

lozlzolzozlol @ Alte & Retrenched

Yesterday's post was basically nothing more than an experiment to see how easy or hard it was to make a blog post with hyperlinks, a google pic and a youtube embed. Using the iPhone took me close to an hour to make such a short blog post.

I don't think I'll be making it a regular habit.

I've actually had the iPhone for about 2 weeks now, but have only used it strictly as a camera/video cam and web browser to surf the web whenever I can jump on some free wi fi access. I'm not paying for a data connection, still using my old flip phone as my cellular.

I absolutely hate the iPhone touchscreen keyboard and autocorrect.

@ Amy - I see somebody else has been visiting Tex over at his Vault in Australia.

lulz

If Tex is correct and we are in the end times and an extinction level event happens, I don't want to live beyond TEOTWAWKI.

Stuck in an underground vault eating canned food and rations for years while radioactive fallout and a nuclear winter apocalypse from a super-volcanic eruption that annihilates all life above ground is not my idea of a worthwhile existence.

Richard Nikoley said...

Completely futile. In fact, it was the iPhone release, which I got as bday present for my wife September 16, 2007 that ultimately made go all in and I made the complete switch six weeks later.

http://freetheanimal.com/2007/10/its-time.html

Never looked back, though there are some things about Apple now that remind me of MS then.

black said...

Like Richard said... Apple is amazing if all you use is Apple.

I tried using an iPhone, but syncing over the content I wanted from my Windows workstation was a pain.

CarpeOro said...

I was just forced to get a smart phone by work. They are doing BYOD (bring your own device) and taking away our work phones. I'd have no problem with that. But being oncall, the only way I can work anywhere other than my desk requires a RSD (Remote Security Device) key... which has to be on a smart phone. Looking for other positions that aren't oncall.

Tarl said...

Speaking of zombies, when I read this I thought of you. =)

http://www.hopperblog.com/the-best-and-worst-places-to-survive-the-zombie-apocalypse/

The five worst states to survive the zombie apocalypse:
46. Hawaii with a survivability score of 30

At first glance Hawaii would seem like a great place to survive the zombie apocalypse: it’s cut off from the rest of the United States, the weather is nice and there are volcanoes in which to dispose of rotting zombie corpses. But what if the zombie virus does spread to infect entire islands? Well, then you’re trapped on a small island with millions of zombies and basically no guns. Doesn’t sound so paradisiacal now, does it?

Anonymous said...

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kHjR571pPHs/UDbhvYyM7AI/AAAAAAAAAlU/j9EMfe4-_fQ/s640/blood+diamond+rage.gif

Anonymous said...

Chris Mackney committed suicide on December 29, 2013 because his ex wife was using the divorce courts in America to torture him and kidnap his children from him. He wrote a 4 page suicide note before killing himself.

http://www.brainsyntax.com/Portal/Material/1/Lasttestamentofalovingfatherabusedbythefamilycourtsystem.pdf

MAKE THIS VIRAL! THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT ISSUE EVER TO HIT THE MRA/MANOSPHERE WORLD. THIS IS WHY YOU NEVER GET MARRIED IN AMERICA!!!!!!!!!

LATEST UPDATE: The ex-wife is such a psychopath that is she trying to copyright her ex husband's suicide note, in order to prevent it from being circulated on the internet. She is using her lawyers to threaten legal action against websites that published Chris's suicide letter.

The website "A Voice for Men" also got a letter from her lawyers and wrote an article about it yesterday:

http://www.avoiceformen.com/mens-rights/family-courts/here-come-the-lawyers-to-avfm-yet-again/

Full info on his evil ex-wife here
http://dinamackney.com/contact-us/

Her Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dina.mackney?fref=ts
Her Twitter: https://twitter.com/dinamackney
Her LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/pub/dina-mackney/6/331/54a
Her personal website: http://dinamackney.com/

Her email addresses:
customerservice@dinamackney.com
info@dinamackney.com
repairs@dinamackney.com
wholesale@dinamackney.com
press@dinamackney.com

Her office address:
Dina Mackney Designs
11490 Commerce Park Drive, Suite 306
Reston, VA 20191

gaoxiaen said...

More pig hunting stories, please.

AnonymousManosphereBlogger said...

Why?

My Friend of Misery

You just stood there screaming
Fearing no one was listening to you

They say the empty can rattles the most

The sound of your own voice must soothe you

Hearing only what you want to hear
And knowing only what you've heard

You, you're smothered in tragedy
And you're out to save the world

Misery
You insist that the weight of the world should be on your shoulders

Misery
There's much more to life than what you see

My friend of misery

You still stood there screaming
No one caring about these words you tell

My friend, before your voice is gone

One man's fun is another's hell

These times are sent to try men's souls

But something's wrong with all you see

You, you'll take it on all yourself
Remember, misery loves company

Misery
You insist that the weight of the world should be on your shoulders

Misery
There's much more to life than what you see

My friend of misery

You just stood there screaming

...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

It's not even that the Nexus 5 costs less and is better than the iPhone 5s, but that you get it unlocked so you can pick a cheap plan that's customized for your use case rather than some overpriced subsidized service.

When my last iPhone plan expired (3GS circa 2011) I switched over to prepaid and have saved hundreds if not thousands since.

Anonymous said...

Got an IPod Touch, avoided Apple because of the high cost and all that creepy fan-boy stuff, but I'm addicted to the little bastard, I admit it.

black said...

Wow... you really were iAssimilated. :-)

Hope things are well.

Anonymous said...

Keoni:
Hope you come back soon, Bro: lot of us in the Manosphere wondering where you've gone!

Keoni Galt said...

Howzit black and Eric...thanks for the thoughts.

I meant to take a brief 2 week hiatus, and now it's turned into a month. lozlzololol

I'll be back when the muse hits.

In the meantime, I've been busy like hell.

Got so many things going on IRL (all of it positive and productive), that I just don't have the time to spend on blogging.

A hui hou

black said...

Understand completely... Looking forward to when my life settles down and free time is copious.

Glad to hear things are well.

Take care.

The Reactionary Tree said...

I hope you post again soon. really miss your blog posts.

Deansdale said...

"Got so many things going on IRL (all of it positive and productive), that I just don't have the time to spend on blogging."

Good to hear this, I was getting worried :)

AussieTom said...

While I'm glad you're not quitting.

This would be a pretty last post ever title.

Keoni Galt said...

This would be a pretty last post ever title.

Yes AussieTom, I thought so to. I meant to take a short break, but everytime I would log on, I'd see it and think the same thing "this would be a good "final post."