In my last post, I did anticipate the usual denunciations of the institution of marriage 2.0 by the usual suspects out in these fringes of teh Interwebz, after I posted the following:
"I have written it over and over again in the past on this blog...that I do not recommend marriage to today's youth.
I come now to conditionally recant and retract that sentiment. I see thing's differently with a little bit older and I like to think wiser eyes...
Telling people not to marry and have kids because of how messed up the system is, merely contributes further to the degradation and decline of our society and culture. I now say, take the risk, and go for it."
After years of stating in both blog posts and commentary here and elsewhere, some may be wondering why the change of heart? For that, I must reiterate another statement I made in my last post:
"As a father and family man myself, the joy of having and raising children is unmatched by any other experience I've had in this life."
It's absolutely true. How can I continue to advocate avoiding marriage and family formation to others, while realizing the greatest joy and fulfillment I've experienced in my own life has been raising my own progeny?
Why would I try and steer you away from possibly experiencing the same?
Then again, my experiences with parenthood are different than a lot of other folks. I am not stuck in a daily grind of the nine-to-five rat race as a human resource in a corporate cubicle farm.
I am not dropping the kids off at school and then letting them go to after-school daycare, only to see them for a few hours in the evening before repeating the cycle all over again the next day, dropping them off at my neighborhood institutional indoctrination facility again, while I head off to work, only to spend any meaningful quality time with them on the weekends. I understand the full ramifications of opportunity costs when it comes to raising children in today's Brave New World Order.
I have deliberately scaled back on my material standard of consumption, so as to maximize the amount of quality time I have with my offspring. I don't have a nice car (mechanically sound and runs well though), the best clothes, nor a fancy house. But I've got a little bit of freedom to indulge my time how I best see fit. I wouldn't have it any other way. (Well, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit that it would be nice to hit the lottery or something.) Now I may work a sixty hour work week, but that is usually followed by ten days off or so. Those ten days of freedom to spend with my progeny are priceless. Money cannot buy the meaningful time I've spent with my family.
Anyhow, as more than a few folks have pointed out, one does not need to get married to have children. But I say the children need their parents marriage most. All children do best when raised in a home with a Father and a Mother in a functional marriage, living in a symbiotic existence in which all family members thrive. That is what is best for the children, period.
So if you are going to have them, and you want to experience the joys of parenthood to the fullest extent possible, than you should do what's best for them.
If you're worried about the Judicial - Divorce Industrial Complex...well, child support will be awarded to a custodial parent whether you get married or not. Child support judgements and the decision of what is to be done with the majority of assets are usually decided in the "best interest of the children," well, if you want to have kids, than you may as well go all the way and get married before you procreate.
Besides, I never said YOU (yes YOU specifically!) have to get married and pop out children. If you are one of those who never wants to have children, then I say to you, DON'T GET MARRIED. If not for the sake of having children, there's no other reason to do it. At least no other sane reason.
Of course, if you do decide to follow through and take part in creating the next generation...you also owe it to your children to carefully vet your potential spouse and not let simple attraction (infatuation and lust) lead you to making the biggest mistake you could ever make in your life. Rest assured, picking a spouse and future parent of your future offspring will be the single most important decision you ever make.
Out in these fringes of teh Interwebz, we have a number of men who are married and are raising children, and they have often offered their views and advice on how to navigate the very dangerous waters of today's Marriage 2.0. Dalrock, Rollo, Athol, Cane, Vox, deti...there plenty of family men who have doled out their perspectives and advice based on their experiences and the clarity of "red pill" thinking and insights on marriage and raising a family in today's Brave New World Order.
It's not as if I'm trying to send you to stumble through a minefield without so much as a map....
If you say it's like hunting unicorns trying to find a worthy spouse...well folks, the best things in life are never easily attained. There's no such thing as a risk free life. All choices you make, involve risks and dangers. The only thing I would say is this: marriage in today's climate is a tremendous personal risk...but not impossible to succeed at. Your best bet would be to approach it with eyes wide open and understand all of the possible risks and pitfalls that can occur. But you see a possible path through the hazards, than if you really want it bad enough, you must venture forth without fear and take the dangerous task head on.
You want to have children? Than you owe it to them to do your best to give them what they need most - a home with a Father and a Mother.
Civilization is built on the foundation of functional homes and intact families. We are no doubt living through a rapidly declining age...but it is those who create strong communal bonds and family ties who will be much better prepared to live through the coming times than those who have no families.