Friday, October 19, 2012

Good Wife | Bad Wife

As I previously noted, Everyone seems to be taking the red pill nowadays, eh?

I recently saw a manosphere commenter going by the moniker "RedPillWifey" I clicked on her link and with much bemusement read her new blog, "Red Pill Wifery." I quickly ascertained she's a fan of Athol's. Good for her, good for her family.

One of her more interesting posts was her fisking of the old email meme that made the rounds on teh interwebz, The Good Wife's Guide.

I first got that meme emailed to me by an old classmate/friend, before I ever started blogging...most certainly before "taking the red pill." I lol'd along with her and her comments at being horrified at the old ways of Patriarchal enslavement women had to suffer from in the bad old days of the 50's.

Almost a decade later, she's on her last few carousel spins and destined for spinsterhood (she's already tried to settle for a beta - the engagement lasted all of 3 months before she cheated on him with a ONS and ended up dumping him for being BORING. He does not know how lucky he is....) and I have most certainly come to a much more different perspective on this old meme. lulz

I'm half a mind to make this commentary, and re-email the meme image back to her and watch her hamster scramble furiously for my own amusement. But she is an old friend, and we've already been down the old path of arguing about her feminist politics many times before. I'll leave her to her rapidly approaching time of perpetual cat tending and man-hating vodka martini gossip sessions with her fellow single, empowered career womyn peers... but I digress.

Back to the Guide.

As some of Red Pill Wifey's commenters note, the Guide is most certainly a fraud.

Even better.

What this meme really shows, is the feminist attitudes towards marriage, and that being a good wife is viewed as being a complete slave to a misogynistic brute. The fact of the matter is, even if the things on this list are an over-exaggeration to reinforce the perception that the 50's were a period of female enslavement to the Patriarchy, they would most certainly work for a woman who's serious aspiration was to indeed become a good wife.

For as we all know, modern feminism - aka cultural marxism - certainly doesn't want women to be Good Wives.

A good Wife is a home maker. Her husband and her children are fortunate, because they live in a happy home -- that she makes -- in which Dad can't wait to come home to a pleasant wife, good home-cooked food, and a clean and orderly house. If your husband is the type to always go straight to the bar after work and doesn't come home til late every night, it's a virtual guarantee he dreads coming home...TO YOU.

By making a home, a good wife creates a sanctuary for her man.

A bad wife is a Home breaker.

We know which kind of wife the Feminist movement promotes.

In fact, if you were to take a different perspective on all the actions this "guide" suggests, you can see just how corrosive the feminist zeitgeist has become to the personal relationships between a husband and wife. Much of these exaggerated "suggestions" are the kind of things we all do (men and women) whenever we invite guests over to our house...especially strangers!

We clean up the place, put on nice clothes, and try to create a comfortable atmosphere so that our guests may enjoy their visit to our home, so that we can make a good impression on them. When you create a great atmosphere, everyone enjoys each others company and a good time is had by all....including the person who did all the work in preparing, cleaning and dressing up! Slavery? Oppression?

Yet, to do these things as a wife, to create the same experience for a husband that she would for a stranger...oh the horror!

Think about that for a second... 

"We must treat strangers better than our own husbands, or it's oppressive slavery!"

Yes ladies, ignore all of this horrible advice from those bad old days of the 1950's!

Why would you ever want to be a good wife?

Here's an easy question one should pose to any women who shows this meme to you and laughs at it...

What man out there in the world would you most want to meet and fall in love with and gain commitment from? Which male out there tingles your hypergamous desires more than any other? Is it some rugged Athlete or sports champion? A musically gifted, multi-platinum recording pop rock star? The Prince of England? The hottest Movie Actor in all of Hollywood? Who? What guy out there is your ultimate Fantasy?

Now let's say you met him and he accepted an invitation from you to come over to your place for dinner.

Would you really feel enslaved and oppressed by cleaning your place up, wearing your best clothing and doing your hair and makeup to make yourself presentable, and then getting ready with a drink in hand to present to him the moment he came over to visit you?

Would it be oppressive to try and make him feel comfortable and relaxed at your place? Since he's your dream guy, you'd do all of this and much much more to try and get him to fall in love with you and give you his commitment, no?

Why is that acceptable in trying to attract your dream man...but suddenly it becomes "enslavement and oppression" after you've gotten that commitment?

The answer to that question is this: because you've been lied to. You've been sold a most pernicious deception - that happiness can only be found in selfishness. Understanding this and avoiding it is the only way you have a chance at getting to Happily Ever After.

Of course, to understand all this, we have to really get to the truth of the matter: A housewife falls out of attraction with her husband (too much Beta/not enough Alpha), and she finds herself doing all these things for a man that she does not tingle for, it most certainly feels like slavery.

Feminism succeeded in appealing to young single women to delay and/or avoid marriage, because it played off the most base fear of any young, fertile woman - being "trapped for life" in an institution to a man for which she does not tingle.

Sounds ludicrous? Men are no different.

Ask a man who's married to a fat, ungrateful, and perpetually nagging wife if it feels like slavery as she spends all the money he earns and gives him no respect or recognition (and usually no sex) for providing for her and their children.

The difference is we live in a society for which Women can pull the plug on their discontented married lives, and walk away with all the cash and prizes. The unhappily married man faces the choice of putting up with her and still being with his children....or becoming a semi-weekly visitor paying chili-mony and risking estrangement from his offspring. As Ian Ironwood at The Red Pill Room notes:

In attempting to re-write the social rules of marriage, feminism's built-in escape hatch made the effort to work on a marriage a lot harder than ending it.  Feminists can become brides pretty easily, thanks to the power of pussy.  They can just as easily become ex-wives, with a stroke of a pen.  They rarely become "wives" (under the Rectification of Names).  So for all of their vaunted empowerment, it seems that feminism insists that an empowered feminist woman can do ANYTHING . . . except be a good wife.

To sum it up, this "Good Wife's Guide" piece of feminist agit-prop expounds on mythical horrors of the past, so as to perpetuate the very real horrors of our current Brave New World Order.

Consider these responses of a typical modern day housewife to the supposed 1950's standards (keep in mind, this is from a Pro-Parenthood website):

1. Prepare yourself for your husband's arrival.

Me: First of all, what makeup? Second, if I had 15 minutes to spare I would probably take a nap.

2. Clear away the clutter.

Me: Cleaning happens once a week. If you want it done more, please hire someone else. Honestly though, my husband does a lot of the cleaning.  

3. Honor thy master.

Me: When we were married my friend gave us a magnet that said, "If at first you don't succeed, try it your wife's way." Whether my husband admits this or not, this statement has been proven to be correct more than once. Really though, we work as a team and question each other when necessary.

4. Keep it down!

Me: Noise? What noise? Are you referring to the radio, the dog, the noisy toys, the phone, or our child? I tuned that out a long time ago, please consider doing the same.

5. Always have dinner ready.

Me: Leftovers are in the fridge! Enjoy! To all housewives everywhere, enjoy who you are. Do what you do and do it well. 

Whatever she's doing, she's certainly doing it well. He works to pay all the bills AND he does most of the cleaning. If he has any problems with this, why "they work as a team and question each other when necessary!"

This is one thing I notice about TEAM WOMAN. Even when she is TEAM HER MAN, and she's in a happy relationship with a man that she respects and is basically submissive too...if someone were to ask her what she thinks about their relationship, often times she'll brag about they have an "equal" and "fair" relationship.

They too partake of the notion that female submission and Patriarchy are bad things, even if they are actually living it. It's just like how feminists credit everything good in their lives to feminism and the women who "fought for their rights" in earlier eras.

In short, the feminist paradigm is the only "correct" way to view relationships.

As the stay at home mom at the Parent Society website writes, these are "Hilarious lessons on being a good wife."

I'm sure her husband is laughing.

It's quite obvious by her answers that we all know who wears the pants in her household.

This is what modern feminism preaches to married women today. His needs are superfluous and unnecessary...even if he's the one working and paying all the bills so you can stay at home with the kids. Who cares if the house is messy, you look frumpy, the house is chaotic and noisy, and after a long day of hard work, he has to look forward to eating cold left overs in the fridge! None of this has anything to do with being a good wife. That was 1950's era oppression!
Of course, she misses the best piece of advice in that entire meme, is the last point: A good wife always knows her place.

Both figuratively and literally, that would be beneath her husband.


Athol Kay said...

RedPillWifey is indeed a fan of mine and quite insightful in her own right.

I've seen a number of women get the whole Red Pill thing and turn their marriages around now. It's going to be much easier changing things with female support than without it.

RedPillWifey said...

Thanks so much for the blog love! I hadn't seen the "feminist version" of the Good Wife's Guide... Hilarious. I used to be like that. It's painful to look back on.

The happiness and joy I've experience since this change is beyond measure.

Ingemar said...

I think that the Biblical attitude is helpful when considering a wife:

"He shall be cleaved to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

My description sounds weird, but I imagine having a good spouse as combining, a-la mecha anime, into a stronger unit. Actually, my image is of someone getting an extra set of limbs.

Would you prefer an extra set of limbs that enhances your overall experience (let's say, your arms military press while your extra arms makes artwork, knits, chops vegetables and writes Christmas cards), or festering gangrenous lumps that will cause the New Combined You to become diseased and crippled?

Anonymous said...

KG wrote: Yet, to do these things as a wife, to create the same experience for a husband that she would for a stranger...oh the horror!Think about that for a second... "We must treat strangers better than our own husbands, or it's oppressive slavery!"

I've said something similar to women about the whole submission thing. It's funny how some women will rant on against being submissive to their husbands but have no problem being under the authority of a boss at work who ultimately cares very little about them.

As Bob Dylan said, you're gonna serve somebody, so it might as well be one's own husband.


RedPillWifey said...

Eric: Compare red pill women to slave owners? Really?

Anonymous said...

LOL---I haven't encountered but half dozen or so 'tradcon' women who DIDN'T hate men. 99% of them spent their youths rejecting real men for sport and chasing thugs around before 'cougarism' set in. Now, they're all with Socon Team Woman, scolding the younger women with whom they can no longer compete; settling for some 'boring nice guy' and pining away for the good old days of thug-banging.

Just look at the Tradcon Feminist-in-Chief, Laura Schlessinger. Anybody actually believe, after reading books like 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands' that she doesn't consider men on about the same level as livestock? Half her program is reminding women not to hate men because we do useful things like fixing toasters; and how sex with us is a chore, but if women don't 'woman up' and perform once or twice a week, we'll be straying &c.

Men deserve better than being 'porch-monkeys' for females who look down on them as inferiors.

Optimum Awareness said...

Damn Keoni, Great work.
I understand where you're coming from. Men must stand on their own and that is really the only way that will allow you to become attractive to the opposite sex. The female psychology scorns t the men who "cares" about them so much and with my past experiences as a man who never knew the red pill, it is really an enigma: "how come those who I love never loved me back? But Those who I don't come back for more?" The moments when I just existed for no man or woman for that matter are also the times when I get more attention from women. Therefore the Enigma and the paradox; A man who demonstrates an uncaring attitude (or alpha for that matter) will get taken care of by his women. And if you ask me, having a wife taking care4 of you is a good place to be and I dare not move away from it. The only challenge is keeping the same composure showing only "little" beta traits. I will give you an example: I have a wife (with whom I am not married to) but we live together and we have a kid, a 4 yr old kid. When I work and when I get back home I usually am very drained from the graveyard shift. (Keep in mind that the next day of work will start later that same day) and I sleep and wake up to a complete meal complete with a packed lunch. Would I say that the attention and caring that I get is a bad thing? I doubt.

*** ******** said...

it is the old bait and switch. get married, then sex is something you "have to do" with your husband etc.

Hearth said...

Great post, as always.

I hadn't heard that the list was fake. It's *very* similar to the list in the front of my mom's 50s era cookbook. Now I have to go borrow her cookbook so I can copy it.

I'll see if they'll let me put it up on TC if I do. Should be well out of copyright!

Ian Ironwood said...

Keoni, thanks for the link love, and I'm honored at the quote.

RedPillWifey is a fan of both Athol's and mine, and for my sake I'm a fan of hers. Because she understands (as do many of the Red Pill wives) that women do, indeed, have a role in the re-establishment of masculinity... but a passive role, not a feminist-oriented active role. In other words, RP women celebrate, respect, and appreciate their men's masculinity by expressing their femininity in a positive way. In return, we appreciate and compliment their femininity, with the express purpose of getting shit done to our mutual benefit. Living as men and as women, complimentary halves of a whole, endeavoring to create something better with the other than we can manage on our own.

Believe me, men aren't the only ones fed up with the way men are treated in our society. The Manosphere is filled with women lurking to learn how the mind of Man works, and sometimes their insights have been profound. I have found real support and sympathy, not bullshit FSM doublespeak or manipulation, from the most unexpected quarters among women. Unlike feminism, I think it's our responsibility in the Manosphere to acknowledge and appreciate when women can see the Red Pill truth and be willing to work with us, not against us, to keep our personal lives running to our mutual contentment.

Keoni Galt said...

Yes Ian, I agree. NAWALT.

I've always supported, read, referenced and linked women who "get it." Alte, Elspeth, Lara Robbins, Dr. Helen, SSM, Suz, Bhetti,...even The Thinking Housewife (who I had a minor blog-war kerfluffle with a couple of years ago) have all contributed worthwhile writing to this corner of teh interwebz.

I self identify as a misogynist...because that's what modern feminism says men who believe in traditional gender roles are.

But I never HATED all women.

Some of my best friends are women! lozlzolzol

BTW - that post of yours was one of your best. I found it a coincidence that this post I was writing was about 85% complete when I came across your post.

My post was actually scheduled to post on Thursday, but I turned off the scheduled posting and waited til I had the time to work in the quote and link to your post!

Glad to see the red pill is spreading.

Anonymous said...

Optimum Awareness:
I agree with Keoni that 'not all women are like that', but the probability in our culture is that 99% of them are. Therefore, it behooves a man to look outside the culture for success.

American women's proclivity for thug-chasing has nothing to do with being an 'alpha'. An 'alpha' like a heroic firefighter who risks his life to save children is LESS valued than a so-called 'alpha' who beats children up for their lunch money.

And as proof of this: does anyone remember the names the three men who died protecting their girlfriends during the Aurora Theatre shooting? Nope. But James Holmes, the shooter, is one of the 'hottest men in America' now.

American women choose thugs because they are TAUGHT that they must be superior to men; and that ALL men are basically thugs anyway. Even so-called 'red pill women' have to unlearn this kind of programming; and many aren't even close.

It's better for men NOT to get involved with women from our culture at all; and if 'pro-MRA' women want to do something constructive, they should work on reforming their own gender and stop infiltrating and co-opting the MRM. We don't need them.

Anonymous said...

Ian Ironwood:

Do you really see any kind of societal shift that reflects any of what you just wrote? Everything you said sounds great: not a bit of it occurs in real life.

We don't have the divorce, abortion, out-of-wedlock births, and false accusation rates that we have because our women are so caring and giving. Men aren't going MGTOW and pursuing foreign women because ours are too loving and too feminine to be endured. The ONLY way to deal with them is to abandon them for better options and leave them to the degenerate males they all deserve.

Optimum Awareness said...

I cannot agree with any bitterness; for me one must not posses them over anyone for there are always ways to systematically get things going you way(game for instance). However I cannot disagree with you with regards to finding prospects outside of the western culture. It is not impossible to find a mate inside though, but lack of "culture" is making it hard because women are fed with wrong messages. But be warned though other cultures cultivate better women, one must still practice a level of game so that one can keep his woman. I can tell you that with good authority primarily for I am not in a relationship with a Caucasian; female hypergamy will always be present wherever you go so understanding how the female mind..or EMOTIONS work is an absolute advantage. Thus I support you in your quest for finding and impregnating good women all over the world taking them as wives(in the sense of the word). Go look for some Amish girls they could be better than the ones that are with you now. But harbor no bitterness for it will hurt no one but yourself.
De Buena fe

Anonymous said...

Optimum Awareness:
What do you mean by harboring no bitterness? Bitter, man-hating females are everywhere around us!

I'm 41 now: all of my adult life I've heard nothing but how all men are subhumans; how women don't need us; how expendable and useless we all are---most men my age are divorced or INCEL.

Practically any man my age or younger has grown up with a man-hating single mother; been persecuted by sadistic female schoolteachers and 'empowered' affirmative-action female bosses and bureaucrats. Most men have had their families destroyed by divorce, suffered false accusations, been rejected for sport, &c.

And to top it all off we pay for abortions and feminist propaganda with our taxes; get phony AOC, VAWA, and IMBRA laws imposed on us to limit our options and anti-porn and prostitution laws passed to make sure that the bitter femihags are our ONLY available choices. No amount of 'Game' is going to solve any of that.

Some of what's taught in Game might have application for non-feminist women, but in its totality, it's really better suited for a competative system like ours. Even then, it's arguable whether or not it's worth doing.

Ian Ironwood said...

You misunderstand what I'm trying to say, and to explain it would be more than a mere comment, it would be a post in and of itself. So that's what I'll do. Stay tuned to the Red Pill room for the answer to this burning question.

Elspeth said...


Anonymous said...

Well, we'll stay tuned; but I'd challenge you to look at what all this 'red pill' stuff has done for the American Mens' Movement.

On one hand, we have AVfM; telling us that the 'Blueprint for Bridge Building' is letting women run the MRM and completing the work that feminism started. Half of the posts over there are written by a bunch of domanitrixes telling us all how to behave and what to do. Some 'Voice for Men.' Pffft.

On the other, there's a weird mixture of Gamecocks and Christian Reconstructionists lecturing us all on how to please women and give them what they want; and be the 'alpha' women all supposedly secretly long for. All of these types of blogs are filled with a bunch of cougars applauding this garbage.

Gynocentric male-feminists---all of them. They might as well join hands and build bridges with Manboobz next; because THAT is the direction they are all headed. And all of these soelf-styled pro-MRM females are nothing but Radfems who wear lipstick and dresses.

At least the non-American Mens' Movement is wisely keeping women out of it and focusing on men's issues, while the American movement is fast becoming nothing more than a National Mangina League.

Anonymous said...

Ian Ironwood said..."Believe me, men aren't the only ones fed up with the way men are treated in our society."

What some women are "fed up" with, is that their own level of happiness has been lowered. Any concern regarding the injustices men in general face is a distant secondary concern, at best.

"The Manosphere is filled with women lurking to learn how the mind of Man works, and sometimes their insights have been profound."

In your opinion, why are these women interested in learning how the mind of "Man" works? Furthermore, can you provide an example of one of these profound insights?

Anonymous said...

It seems that a lot of MRAs have completely forgotten what it was like when they were dating/courting.

How many times did our girlfriends tell us exactly what these 'tradcon' women are telling the MRM?

'Oh, I love you. Oh, you're so smart! Oh, you're the greatest! Oh, you're my hero...all LIES, of course---proven in short order as soon as they found some thug to crawl into bed with!

Yet, we're supposed to believe that the same thing isn't going to happen to the MRM, if we're inclusionist. They really ARE different, we're assured. Yeah, right. If they really were different, they'd be doing the laundry and leaving the MRM to their husbands.

phen375 scam said...

I love your research on this interesting topic.Great work !A excellent Spouse is a house manufacturer. Her spouse and her kids are lucky, because they reside in a satisfied house -- that she makes -- in which Dad can't delay to come house to a enjoyable wife, excellent home-cooked food, and a fresh and organized house.

phen375 scam said...

At least the non-American Mens' Movement is wisely keeping women out of it and focusing on men's issues, while the American movement is fast becoming nothing more than a National Mangina League.

Anonymous said...

"Feminists can become brides pretty easily, thanks to the power of pussy."

I don't know about that since more and more men are "opting out" of marriage. It doesn't take a genius to see the deck is stacked against you and decide to punt. I'm seeing that more and more - although there are always a foolish few...

One hopeful sign I've seen is the large number of young women who actively seek what "my grandmother had". Unfortunately, the laws make that impossible.

Now I'm a confirmed bachelor - 50 and still dating the sweet young things with daddy-issues. That is fine with me since I get what I want, and so do they. Well, not really what they "want" since they want a young man to marry - but they will take the guidance and acceptance of an older "father-figure" in exchange for their sweet young attributes.

It may not be nice, but it is what their "sisters" have wrought, and I cannot change it. But I can make it work to my advantage - so I do.

exercises said...

There is no specific parameter as such, Or you can say one of the parameter can be, a good wife is one who understand her husband very well & a good husband is one who understands his wife very well. The criteria & preferences varies from person to person.

Anonymous said...

This was very interesting, both the original "how to..." and your take on it. I'm wondering if you've read any Robert Heinlein? It seems that most of his female characters are quite red-pill-y. In fact, that's where a lot of my thoughts on wifing originated, as my own mother is definitely an angry man-hater. Right now we both work, no kids, so we have a pretty even division of household responsibilities, but once we have kids I will probably fairly closely resemble "the good wife." I used to be very apprehensive at the thought of staying home and being dependent on my husband, but I could certainly not stay home and not pull my own weight - we each make a contribution! Thanks for sharing your thoughts, I like to come around your blog and get the "alternative perspective" on life. :)

click here said...

Feminism prevailed in attractive to younger individual females to wait and/or prevent wedding, because it performed off the most platform worry of any younger, rich lady - being "trapped for life" in an organization to a man for which she does not hurt.

Emma said...

"if someone were to ask her what she thinks about their relationship, often times she'll brag about they have an "equal" and "fair" relationship."

Actually, this is something I noticed. I wouldn't brag about it, but my relationship does feel pretty equal. However, I asked around, and it seems it's normal to define submissive as "putting out on demand, doting on the man and trying to do everything to make him happy". But why isn't it submissive when he does something similar? I just like to throw affection at him. Submissive has got to have something to do with following his instructions... right? Letting him decide?... It doesn't matter to me if someone defines me as submissive because I dote and do lots of small nice things for him, but I don't quite understand why it's seen that way. Is it because manosphere people meet only 2 types of women - a)domineering "lawyercunt" and b) submissive SAHM, so if she's not a), she must be b)?..

injections said...

Right now we both perform, no children, so we have a fairly even department of family obligations, but once we have children I will probably fairly bear much resemblance to "the excellent spouse." I used to be very frightened at the believed of remaining house and being reliant on my spouse, but I could certainly not perform and not take my own body weight - we each create a contribution!

Hearth said...

I thought I'd fess up that I couldn't find that write-up in Mom's old cookbooks. Which irritates me, since I have a memory of reading something quite similar in bed, not on the computer.

Maybe it was from Fascinating Womanhood? (Horrible book, I threw it away so I can't check).

Anyway. I'll keep my eyes open but I had to admit failure.

Anonymous said...

In actuality, American women generally fall into one of two types: the first is the domineering lawwyercunt you described; the second is more accurately a passive-aggressive SAHM type.

American women hate men.

In normal relationships, there is a symbiosis; each partner contributes what the other lacks; that's what an 'equal relationship' actually means. When women are said to be submissive it refers to the feminine side of the gender polarity; cultivating feminine traits. American women have no clue as to what any of this means.

wartrol works said...

One optimistic sign I've seen is the high number of women who definitely seek what "my granny had". Unfortunately, the regulations make that impossible.

Anonymous said...

I suspect strongly though that they want what their grandmothers had---excluding the grandfather.

thyme said...

Go look for some Amish ladies they could be better than the ones that are with you now. But harbour no anger for it will harm no one but yourself.