From the early 90's until mid-00's I listened to AM Talk Radio on a daily basis, with Tom Leykis my usual afternoon show after listening to a morning full of right wing kool aid - ala Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Micheal Savage, Dr. Laura and other such personalities. The influence of the Tom Leykis show certainly laid the ground work for my eventual discovery of these fringes of teh Interwebz we now refer to as the manosphere. He was the first mass media voice I ever heard who really drove the point home about how corrupt and unjust the family court system and marriage 2.0 had become in our culture. He also repeatedly lamented the loss of masculinity in the culture at large and castigated network TV for becoming nothing but "One big, giant vagina."
A common feature of his show included segments in which callers would phone in with their personal stories of relationship woes, and ask him for his advice on their problems with women. Most of those callers problems were basically men who had become beta-ized, pussy whipped and forgot they had spines and let their women walk all over them and run their lives into emasculated disgrace. Leykis repeatedly excoriated the airwaves about this, and he was the first mass media person in my estimation to lay the blame for this widespread lack of testicular fortitude in the American male at the doorstep of the single mother household.
"I am the Father you Men never had."
Many of his shticks and routines have stuck with me throughout the years. He was preaching "Game" before we were calling it that here on teh Internwebz.
But his advice for men on love, marriage, divorce, (I believe he coined the term "vaginamony,") where only a part of his show.
He also spoke a lot about personal responsibility, and about making short term sacrifices to realize long term success. He frequently discussed how he was enjoying the best luxuries of life his radio show success has given him - owning nice properties, driving luxury cars, having season tickets to box seats at hockey and basketball games, and always drinking the finest vintage wines...but he always made it a point to say he only enjoys such things now because he was smart, frugal and lived within his means until he finally reached the point where such expenditures on these things would in no way endanger his financial health.
He frequently advised young men to avoid going into major debt to drive nice cars they couldn't really afford, or to take out ARM that would adjust in 5 years into mortgage payments they could knowingly never afford. Much of his advice to young men have been echoed for years now in these sectors of the web.
But one piece of advice he frequently gave out was something that stuck with me years later, and I've recently realized actually can be extrapolated into all areas of any person's life. He called it the establishment of the F YOU fund (of course, Federal Broadcasting Regulations prohibited him from saying what he really calls it).
The F YOU fund is one in which you set up a budget and figure out the bare minimum of your monthly expenses that you absolutely must have. Your rent or your mortgage payment. The total of your necessary utility bills like electricity and water, and the amount of money you need to pay for your groceries, gas and car payments. Unnecessary luxury bills, like cable TV, magazine subscriptions, etc., should not be included in the calculations.
Once you've come up with the figure required to pay for the bare necessities of your life on a monthly basis, you should always take any left over money on every pay day, and put it into your F YOU fund. Don't buy a bunch of nice clothes or eat out at nice restaurants or take girls out on expensive dates, or do anything else until you've built up your F YOU fund.
The point is to build that savings account to a level for which you could cover all your necessary monthly expenses for a year or more should something happen to your current employment situation.
Once you've reached that stage, you've achieved true freedom and self determination in our modern world.
Once you've got that amount saved up, you no longer have to compromise your personal standards because your boss or your company demands it of you. You don't have to take a pay cut or an assignment that compromises your personal integrity, because you've got your F YOU fund.
You can look at the person or persons, or company or corporation, that is asking you to sell out your principles or take advantage of you and simply tell them F YOU. Because you're not worried about ending up unemployed, homeless and losing all of your valuable possessions, you don't HAVE to compromise. You can walk then and there, and have a nice, comfortable cushion to go out and find another job elsewhere that doesn't require you to compromise and not worry about losing your house or your car or having the electricity shut off or resort to eating cat food and ramen noodles.
Because if you put yourself into a position where losing your jobs means losing your house, your car and your means of basic subsistence, then you are not free, you are a slave to your things. And Leykis larger point was a good one: If you are not free, then you are not truly a man.
I may not remember his words on this verbatim, but that was the essential point he was making.
Boiled down to it's essence, the F YOU fund is nothing more than realizing that you need to order your life so that you are not in a position to be forced to do something....or do anything you don't want to out of a position of fear.