Thursday, October 22, 2009
It's All About Hypergamy
It appears the debates between the relevancy, validity and morality of "Game" continues with both sides somewhat "talking past each other." I'm going to attempt to break it down to it's bare bones to try and foster a better understanding for "game" detractors, and to also explain why Game "works" across the spectrum of male and female relations.
In my view, I believe the biggest problem is largely of semantics. Many social conservatives and religious oriented detractors and critics of "game" have a hard time overcoming their sensibilities and moral sense of right and wrong when it comes to the terminology employed by "Game" proponents to gain a true grasp of the basic principles underlying "Game."
I myself thought at one time that the term "Game" was too loaded with negative connotations and that those of us that understand it should seek to come up with a better term for it...but I've since changed my mind about that, and I'll save that topic for another time.
Nevertheless, the misunderstandings that abound still need to be addressed.
First and foremost is the term hypergamy.
Hypergamy is the primary reproductive biological imperative of female sexuality. Whether you're a godless atheistic darwinist or a devout religious person, recognizing this basic fact need not be a point of contention, but rather an observation of reality. Either women evolved and adapted this hypergamous instinct as an evolutionary strategy...or God designed women that way on purpose. And while both views come from a very different starting point, they both have practical applications when it comes to understanding female sexuality and how it drives female mating strategy.
Because strategy is what it's all about. Mating strategies of men and women are nothing more than the reproductive biological imperative: Women are instinctually attracted to male dominance and men are instinctually attracted to female fertility. Both instinct-driven strategies are either God's or Natures way of ensuring the best means of ensuring the procreation of the next generation into an environment with the best chance of success in continuing the propagation of the species.
No amount of feminist social engineering, indoctrination or propaganda is ever going to overcome this basic instinct...it will only mislead people that believe in it down a path of unhappiness.
No amount of Christian-based moralizing and caricaturizing of male sexuality as depraved and female sexuality as chaste purity and virtue are going to overcome this instinct either, and it too only leads to shared misery of both men and women that adhere to it.
Both the religious and secular foundations of these shibboleths are destined to failure because they fail to understand the role of female hypergamy in the female mating strategy.
It all boils down to the basic fact that women are driven at a subconscious level to mate "up."
When it comes to "long term game" or dealing with it in a relationship, your mate will always subconsciously be judging your hypergamous position with regards to her in your relationship.
Think of it as a scale, with hypergamy on one end and beta-spinelessness on the other.
As long as your scale is tipping towards the hypergamy side, she's happy, she's in love, and your relationship is "working." Even if you occasionally backslide into some Beta behavior, as long as the majority of your relationship dynamic is tilted towards your status as a leader that she can respect and follow, you will not experience serious relationship discord.
But should you tip towards the Beta side far too much, it's a virtual certainty that she's going to "fall out of love" or start becoming dissatisfied with every facet of her life. Believe me, when you are running afoul of her basic hypergamous instinct, it will poison everything else in your relationship.
Marriage counselors and relationship advice folks always try to do scientific polls on the primary causes of divorce and/or relationship failures. They always point towards "money" or "infidelity" or some other easily recognizable "cause."
But what never gets addressed is the underlying female instinct of hypergamy.
A married couple can and will become a stronger, closer and more intimate couple in the face of severe difficulties and hardships in life...as long as the women has not developed Beta Contempt for her man. From a personal perspective, when I was in the death throes of marital beta-tude, minor financial troubles would turn into huge conflicts that would last for days...whereas nowadays we've never been worse off financially due to our current Great Depression 2.0, yet we get along better than ever.
Every instinct in every fiber of her being screams out for mating with a man who is "up" on the hypergamy scale. If your on the beta side, every little thing you do, every problem you both face, every obstacle and stumbling block in life will be magnified and intensified in her emotional reactions and her "feelings" about the Beta contempt she has for a man she no longer feels like she's "married up" with.
Another obstacle that seems to be hard to overcome appears to be an almost post-traumatic stress disorder reaction that manifests itself amongst many of Game's detractors - the minute a "Game" proponent tries to explain or encourage men to try and understand how they could apply the Game principles, critiques and criticisms of thought, ideas or actions in that context, they are reflexively deflected or rejected as nothing more than the equivalent of "shaming language."
Their is a substantial difference between trying to help someone recognize that a certain behavior is an attraction and respect killer to the female's attraction instincts by pointing out to them 'That's Beta,' versus a feminist or a mangina trying to silence debate by insulting someone simply to shame them into silence.
But I digress.
The primary point here is that whether you like it or not, the reason why "Game" has gained so much traction as of late, is because whether you agree with it or not, whether you are turned off by the hedonistic and what many consider the immoral pursuits of some of it's proponents (the PUA's), is because "Game" only WORKS because it is based on recognizing the principles of the female biological imperative, hypergamy.
Whether you are a devout Christian saving yourself for a marriage consecrated by God, or an aspiring player looking to engage in hedonistic indulgences with as many willing women as possible, understanding the principles of the female biological imperative will go a long way to understanding how to succeed at whatever avenue you choose to pursue.