Monday, December 8, 2008

Crimes of Flirtation


While commuting to work this morning, I was reading the daily paper and came across today's installment of "Dear Abby," entitled Amorous Salesman Delivers Pitch Uncomfortably Close.

This letter, and Abby's answer, offers an example of the attitudes of our feminist influenced society in terms of male/female roles, expectations and what is considered acceptable and unacceptable behavior.

There was a time when women were taught by their elder female family members about the facts of life, and that all girls grew up knowing that when they reached maturity, men would be approaching them as suitors, and most were taught how to politely, firmly and clearly reject unwanted male attention. If a particular male was unusually persistent, the ladies male family members usually got involved to ensure he got the message that his attentions were not wanted.

My how things have changed.

DEAR ABBY: Once a month, a trade representative I'll call "Bob" visits our office and flirts with me. I try to keep him at a distance, but he always tries to move close to me and changes his voice to be soft and seductive. Last month he told me I "smelled good," although I wasn't wearing anything fragrant. I assured him it was the eucalyptus incense behind him.

Abby, Bob comes on so strong it scares me. I had my chair backed up all the way against my computer desk. I decided that the next time he came in I would make sure I had a co-worker close by. But when I did, he didn't act the same way. I have a feeling he won't act up again until we're alone.

I loathe the idea of being alone with him in a room. I hesitate to ask a male co-worker to step in because I don't want to appear weak. What should I do to get Bob to back off? -- HAD IT IN BEAUFORT, S.C.



Here's the key phrase: Abby, Bob comes on so strong it scares me.

This is perfectly indicative of just how confused and corrupted the relationship between the genders have become since the ascendancy of the feminist paradigm in today's society.

The feminists have spent decades now pushing for 'equality' in the workplace. To put women shoulder-to-shoulder with the men in the world of work. One of the means of accomplishing this has been to promulgate a state of mass confusion in gender roles and what is and is not appropriate behavior.

The answer to this confusion, of course, has been to basically criminalize natural, normal male behavior.

Note, the most threatening thing this guy did in this letter writer's description, was to DARE to tell her she smelt good, and to try to get close to her and have conversation.

Oh the horror!

Even more troubling however, was Abby's response:

DEAR HAD IT: If you haven't already done so, document what has gone on each time Bob has come into your office. Frankly, he sounds more than a little bit creepy.


Which part was "more than a little creepy?" Trying to move in closely and softening his voice to talk to her? Complimenting her on her scent?

When he comes on to you again, tell him directly and clearly (and loudly) that he is making you uncomfortable, and if he doesn't stop immediately, you will report him to your boss. And if he tries anything again, follow through.


In other words, this man is a potential RAPIST! Don't forget to yell FIRE!, kick him in the balls, and run screaming from your office! That would CERTAINLY ensure he NEVER commits the horrible crime of flirting with you ever again! He should be fired, arrested, charged with sexual harrassment and thrown into jail! Registered on the sex offenders list for life!

It is your boss's responsibility to provide you with a harassment-free work environment, and if that doesn't happen, your state labor board or the federal Equal Employment Opportunity Commission should be notified.


Ah yes, the STATE is RESPONSIBLE that no woman ever has to feel SCARED that a man she does not find attractive in any way, dares to try to flirt and compliment her!

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

typical, obviously not attracted to him. Yet if she was I imagine the letter would have been asking "How do I get bob to notice me more? all he has tried to do is talk soft to me and said I smelled good." Then there would be some junk about how modern males are not manly enough to approach her cause shes such a strong woman.

Anonymous said...

Why American men even bother approaching women any more, is beyond me.

Frankly, this is insane.

Elusive Wapiti said...

HL, thanks for noting (correctly) that the difference between normal dating behavior on the part of men and a sex offense is wholly dependent on the woman who receives it and how she feels.

Thus it isn't the behavior that is wrong, it is only the wrong man making those advances.

And women wonder why men don't ask them out any more. *bonks self on head* Duh.

Abby's response is so typical. I laugh when women crow about how "independent" they are...right up until they need protection from the evil men in their midst or need money or something.

Anonymous said...

Scenarios like this are why I'm poisoned against women in general, at least as far as romantic relationships go. I can take no for an answer, I appreciate up front honesty, but I don't like women treating me as though I'm a rapist, or worse. I don't bother approaching women, they are ingrate wenches who see guys like me as dirt under their stiletto heels.

Anonymous said...

"Why American men even bother approaching women any more, is beyond me."

I agree. Which is why I never do. I've decided to live without em, and avoid them when possible.

SellCivilizationShort said...

EW makes a fair point about how the woman would revel in the advances if the man making them were sufficiently high on her "ladder" of male quality.

However, I tend to think that workplaces should be devoid of sexual tension. If this woman were my employee, I would hope she would be willing to be blunt and tell the salesman, "You're crossing a line; you're acting discourteous; I can buy from more courteous people if you continue." One warning is enough. Beyond that, get another salesman or another line of work. Since the woman in question is strong and independent, she might take up subsistence farming. That is far more relaxing than working in an office, or so I am told by anthropology professors.

Of course, as Wapiti pointed out, the law does not set a bright clear line of what is courteous and what is not. That failure would have to be remedied by some explicit, unambiguous, easy-to-understand set of rules. Perhaps the medieval code of duels could provide some examples. A knight who challenges a peasant must fight the duel with a peasant's weapons, and without armor, etc.

Of course, a simple way to have a workplace devoid of sexual tension is to have workers who are all hetero males. But that wouldn't be politically correct.

Kim said...

This is just absolutely ridiculous....the kind of behavior one might expect from an adolescent instead of a grown adult. Honestly, if her interpersonal skills are this lacking does she really belong in the workplace? We already see the potential liability. Here we have a man who is doing nothing more than (allegedly) expressing interest in a woman he's attracted to. I say allegedly because far from being "creepy" as Abby implies, he's not being very forward at all. Aside from using a softer tone of voice and commenting that she smells nice, one would question whether he was actually showing interest at all. Now, as a result of Abby's reactionary advice and the female employee's hysterical response to a bit of harmless attention, this man could very well be facing sexual harassment charges and finding his job in jeopardy.

I take back what I said previously...it's not ridiculous...it's disgusting.

Anonymous said...

This is just absolutely ridiculous....the kind of behavior one might expect from an adolescent instead of a grown adult. Honestly, if her interpersonal skills are this lacking does she really belong in the workplace? We already see the potential liability. Here we have a man who is doing nothing more than (allegedly) expressing interest in a woman he's attracted to.Cara Memperbaiki Flashdisk yang Tidak Terbaca