Wednesday, November 7, 2007

We Don't Need Domestic Violence Shelters for Men

Much has been written about the lies feminists have propagated about domestic violence as of late in the MRM blogosphere. Carey Roberts, Glenn Sacks, Dr. Helen and a few other noteworthy MR advocates have attempted to shine the spotlight on the facts that women are often instigators and/or co-conspirators in domestic violence cases, and that women often instigate assault on their male partners just as much, if not more than men...yet the conventional wisdom (or the successful indoctrination of society by the feminists) is that men are always the perpetrators and that women are never culpable.

While I believe it is important to expose the lies of the feminists for all to see, and that such inequity in application of the laws are important to recognize, we men need to absolutely avoid the victim mentality of the feminists and try to create the same kind of institutional programs to try and "deal with this problem."

In short, I hope I NEVER live to see "Domestic Violence Centers for Men" become a widespread phenomenon.

Men don't need shelter from abusive women.

We need shelter from an abusive SYSTEM that doesn't hold Women responsible for their own actions.

We need to fight the popular culture and media that degrades men, fathers, fatherhood and the "you go girl" mindset that gives it's tacit stamp of approval for women to physically assault men.

We need an end to television shows and advertisements that portray a blow to men's genitalia as high comedy.

Another needed change would be in favor of a complete change in the application of police procedure in domestic violence cases.

As is the case today, a woman can assault a man (frequently with an object or weapon to inflict damage,) and a man can simply shove her or forcibly disarm her to protect himself and he is the only one that gets arrested and charged...even if the man has evident physical damage and the woman only has tears streaming down her face as visual evidence when the cops show up.

I say in any domestic violence case where the police are called, they should simply arrest BOTH parties involved and charge them BOTH with domestic violence. Than, both should be administered lie detector tests to determine who instigated the first act of physical contact.

In this way, woman would no longer have the automatic assumption of innocence (imagine that, equality under the law, regardless of gender!), nor would they have the incentives to try and create false "events" of domestic abuse to use as a tool to divorce their husbands. Instigating violence would get her arrested and put into the same system he does. Furthermore, we need to make the penalties for false claims of domestic abuse to be punished just as harshly as actual abuse. As it stands right now, women have all the incentives to make up false claims and no penalties for lying to manipulate the system.

Finally, I think the most important change that needs to be implemented is to stop the practice of voiding men's Constitutional rights on the simple accusation of domestic violence from a woman. Just because a woman claims abuse does not mean a man should be forcibly kicked out of his home (especially if he can demonstrate that he bears the majority of the burden for paying the mortgage or rent), or his second amendment rights by surrendering his legally owned firearms to the State on a simple TRO taken out by a female. We are all supposed to be innocent until proven guilty...yet the feminists have managed to enact laws that ignore this constitutional principle and given women the tools to disenfranchise men from their legal property and right to life.

Men don't need shelters from abusive Women.

We need the reform of a system and society that encourages Women to be abusive in the first place.


ze german said...


In the past two months I got slapped three times, my face scratched one time, and two times almost got the slap. In the latter cases I did not get slapped because I managed to instill the fear in them that I would hit back, so they pulled back.

In none of these cases have I insulted the girl, nor have I showed disrespect.

i merely did not cater to their whim, and did not lick their asses, and apparently that is reason enough for women to go ballistic.

If a man did that,I would fight, even if the odds were against me.

But in these cases I could not even hit back because of the laws and the bias.

It hurts.

And I also saw the stupid's courage in the girls faces when I turned red... They knew they could hit me and I would not be able to retaliate while being lawful, and they had this extreme arrogance.

Though gotta be glad that I managed to instill fear in the other cases too, so the attacks ceased.

Hawaiian Libertarian said...

I here you Ze...I used to work as a bouncer when I was going to college, and I once was in the middle of breaking up a fight, when the girlfriend of one of the guys I was restraining tried to punch me in the face.

I easily avoided the punch and knocked her on her ass with an open hand to her face.

She and her boyfriend got arrested for trying to attack me, as plenty of people saw her attack me first, the cops didn't even bother me as it was obvious I was defending myself.

I don't believe in hitting women per se...but if a woman tries to hit me, all bets are off. I won't cross that line, unless she does first.

Anonymous said...

We need to get rid of women's rights.

Kelli Kickham said...

I agree with you except that lie detector tests don't hold up for anything. Being why you can't use them in a court of law. I am a female (I'm sure you've gathered). I believe in the idea of feminism. This is not to say that I agree with what many FEMINISTS do, simply that I think men and women should have equal rights under the law. Meaning, yes, abusive women SHOULD be arrested.

As far as whether defending yourself is okay or not, I think hitting anyone back out of anger is, simply put, stupid. They have ALREADY hit you. If you are doing it to defend yourself and keep them from hitting you, then so be it. But if you are a 210 lbs guy dealing with a 110 female, I would think you could restrain her without hitting her.

LZ said...

What he's trying to say is... a man doesn't need to hit back in order to be charged. If it is his word against her word, even if he has evidence of violence (cuts, bruises, etc) all it takes is the girl to cry and insist she was attacked.

For those of you who think this sounds ridiculous... it isn't. There are women out there who are mentally and emotionally unstable who, rather than get a job and take care of themselves, would call the police and tell them their husband/boyfriend attacked them so he would be removed from their home but still responsible for paying the bills (and have the added stigma of being "violent" and an "abuser.")

My current partner let his own cycle of abuse continue for eleven years. He simply did not want to leave the children she "accidentally" had with him alone in her care, and she intimidated him with threats of calling the police and filing false reports.

We have found in the years since his nightmare "ended," she is constantly reporting ridiculous things and people seem to believe her. By the time they catch on to her true nature, she moves on to another counselor/attorney/judge/teacher/daycare/pediatrician, etc. It's frustrating and difficult.

I can't give legal advice, I'm not an attorney. But to those of you currently in abusive relationships - especially men - start taking steps to get out in a peaceful way. If you are married and/or have children, consult an attorney before doing anything. If you are lower income, consulting legal aid and other low-income attorneys before your spouse/children's parent will help make sure you get the legal assistance you need. Do not leave the household until you have started your own legal proceedings - the last thing you need is your adverse party to gain any precedence or "status quo." Often, if your children's custodial parent blocks your parent rights, unless your reaction is legal and swift, her (or his) actions will be later used against you as their established parental relationship and your lack thereof.

Right now... legal rights toward men and particularly non custodial parents is abysmal. Do your best to avoid conflict and retain representation. Write your state representatives and senators, and national ones as well. Join local father's rights groups (if a parent).

Simon Date said...

Thank you for doing this article. I am writing a similar article for our website and really appreciate you taking the time to highlight this awful misconception.
Simon Date