Defining Infidelity

The following is taken from a letter written to the Tom Leykis show, in which a supremely dissatisfied husband asks Tom to read it on the air during his radio show, so that his wife can hear it while they are in the car together. In it, he outlines the case for why he is about to divorce her.

The main point is a message that bears repeating for married women who wish to remain married:

Women of the world, heed this advice. Heed it good; and don't you ever think that you and your magic vagina are the exception to these few very simple rules: Take care of your man. Treat him right. Shower him with love and respect - and yes, I mean take care of his physical needs...satisfy him sexually. Wear him out. If you want to guarantee fidelity in your marriage, there is a simple way to achieve that: Never let your husband leave the house with a single drop of semen remaining in his body.

Trust me, if he is not dumping it at home, he is dumping it somewhere, unless he is hopelessly unattractive, beat-down loser. When you use sex for power and control, you do damage that can not be undone. When you withhold sex and affection from your husband, you drive a wedge between you and your man. Not only that - you drive him elsewhere to get his needs met.

It is that simple.

Ladies, it really IS that simple.

What's interesting is the idea that many women have nowadays that when they are married, they don't have to have sex with their husbands...that if they don't have to "feel like it," than that's just too bad for him, he should go take a cold shower or go masturbate.

But when a husband is cut off from sex by his wife, she may think she is wielding the power...but what she is really doing is fostering a deep resentment in him and she is planting the seeds of destruction for her own marriage.

Granted, this may very well be exactly what she may have in mind...to withhold sex until he is driven to the point of cheating. Than she can divorce him, and claim the mantle of moral superiority and get the pity and emotional support from friends and family because "He cheated!"

Prior to "his-fault" divorce -- how can we call it "no-fault" when the judgments almost always favor her? -- a woman who stopped having sex with her husband could be divorced with cause for "abandonment." Essentially, marriage has been re-defined to mean: Men have all the responsibilities, bear all consequences and women have no incentives or consequences to motivate her to live up to the terms of the marital contract.

In other words, the success of any marriage in a modern day, Western society is almost ENTIRELY dependent on whether or not SHE feels like making it work...because if she no longer wants it to, she holds all the cards in her favor.

Of course, I believe a husband cheating on his spouse is not justified - as the old saying goes, "two wrongs don't make a right," however, this does not mean a negligent wife should be absolved of responsibility either. As the letter writer to Tom Leykis points out:

We need to stop defining infidelity as sexual only. Infidelity has many faces, and many manifestations. When you stop trying as a partner, or decide to renege on what you previously offered, you are in fact being disloyal, unfaithful and false to your partner. The idea that unfaithfulness is physical, via the sex act only is a semantic game we need to no longer play.

Infidelity is a betrayal of the marital contract...and a woman who binds a man to a contract in which he agrees to "forsake all others" certainly implies that she is responsible for making sure his needs are met so that he finds it easy to carry out his part of this agreement.

A woman that purposely cuts her man off from sex is just as culpable and responsible for the resulting infidelity as the spouse who finds affection in the arms of another.

After all has been said and done, it may surprise you all to know that, in my humble opinion, most men don't fool around because of sex itself - it's really about the validation - the feelings of being wanted and valued.

This is absolutely true. The idea that men only care about meaningless, casual sex, is just another feminist lie, promulgated to plant the seeds of discord to further the destruction of the nuclear family.

Women, if you want your man to seek his validation elsewhere, than you know exactly what to do.

Cut him off.