The Great Unlearning

"To attain knowledge, add things every day. To attain wisdom, remove things every day." - Lao Tzu

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn and relearn." - Alvin Toffler

"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him." - Leo Tolstoy

Most of us take it for granted, but teh Interwebz is the greatest library of accumulated human knowledge the world has ever known. For the introspective autodidact, it is without a doubt, the greatest technological advancement in the history of mankind for both good and bad.

The best aspect of this tech, is the empowerment of the individual to do a virtual end-around all of the various gatekeepers of news and information. The Big Government-Big Business entity that is in the process of consolidating their control to bring us under a single one world tyranny can no longer simply use it's control of Big Media to dictate the narrative and control all thought.

On the other hand, the worst aspect of the world wide web is that it makes the Panopticon of Total Information Awareness a.k.a. perpetual surveillance on every citizen, everywhere, technically and feasibly possible.

In the not so distant future, "Unplugging from the Matrix" will no longer be just an allegory or abstract metaphor for contemplation, but an actual, physical action you will have to take (i.e. getting rid of your Mobile Affirmation Devices, unplugging the Tell-A-Vision and any other "smart" appliances, and cease using the Internet from any personally owned computers and devices), if you want to escape the all-seeing eye of Sauron.

But I digress.

The first three quotes I cite in this post, from Yoda (Lucas), Toffler and Lao Tzu, basically sum up my personal experiences with study in the University of the Autodidact. Almost every single facet of my personal life has been transformed, shaped and guided by all that I have learned, unlearned and relearned on teh Interwebz. The way I eat, sleep, cook, clean, shop...the way I socialize, the way I seek recreation, the way I parent my offspring,  interact with my family and friends and the way I conduct myself in public whenever I am out in society at large...nothing I think and do has been unaffected or changed by all this time spent reading and writing in the virtual world.

But it is Tolstoy's quote that is the true impetus for this post.

"The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before him."

This, I think, is what lies behind the never ending cycle of debate and argument over "Game" in the MAndrosphere. Whether it's the Men's (Human) Rights Activists denouncing it as pussy begging or the God-fearing, devout Christians denouncing it as sinful nihilism, it seems to me that those who oppose this thing we call game have their minds firmly made up and are not willing to concede they may be mistaken or wrong, even when they read the anecdotal accounts and testimonies of the many people who weigh in with their own experiences on how discovering this Praxeology helped them learn, unlearn, and relearn how their attitudes, thoughts, posture, demeanor, presentation and confidence play a role in relating to others, male and female alike.

Faced with so many anecdotes of the personal transformations so many folks attribute to game, the ideologically opposed grant no quarter, refuse to spare one inch of concession that perhaps there is something of positive value here. At this point, I have to simply concede the following - if and when you come across the topic of Game on teh Interwebz, you will either "get it," or you won't. If you don't get it, or don't want to get it, great...not my problem. But if you want to tell me I'm wrong, you can try your best to convince me, but at this point I've seen it all before. Give me a new argument, because all of the other ones you've used before fail to overcome the truth of my own personal experiences and observations.

So rather than engage in yet another round of debate by engaging with the naysayers, denouncers and detractors by fisking or responding to any specific objectors posting or comments, I'm going to focus the rest of this post to discuss why I advocate people can gain much from the study of this controversial endeavor.

I also intend (but no guarantees!) for this to be my last and final post on this topic of "WHY GAME?" At this point, I'm done debating and disagreeing over this.





When I first came across the topic of Game on teh Interwebz, I had spent my entire life being indoctrinated and brainwashed into being a NICE GUY. From Generation X onward, this is the mainstream cultural paradigm we were all inculcated with via mass media programming, institutional educational curriculum and for most of us raised as Christians, the Feminine Imperative-based culture of Churchianity.

Discovering the discussion of Game by the PUA's and the PUA wannabes on teh Interwebz was literally THE "Red Pill" that lead me down the path of unlearning all this cultural indoctrination that had turned me into a NICE GUY. When I started reading about such things as hypergamy, shit tests, unapologetic masculinity, dominance, keeping/maintaining frame and how so many aspects of femininity and masculinity have been twisted, distorted and warped, it only took me less than a couple of days of reading and ruminating to grasp the big picture of just how badly I had been learned into dysfunction.

In short, conforming to the Brave New World Order's societal conditioning turned me into a bitch. As Matt Forney notes:

“Bitch” is a common insult, but no one really thinks about what it means. The interesting thing about the word “bitch” is that its meaning is different depending on the sex of who you’re insulting with it.

Female bitches are typically combative, mean, miserable and bossy; in other words, they’re masculine.

Male bitches are typically catty, passive-aggressive, whiny and gossipy; in other words, they’re feminine.

So when you attack someone by calling them a “bitch,” you’re accusing them of failing to live up to the ideal of their sex.

Ah yes, that is precisely what a NICE GUY is, a bitch. Prior to reading up on the topic of Game, I was utterly and completely clueless about how and why I had become one. But boy do I remember those days well:

Why do you have to be so upset all the time?

What should I do? What would you like me to do?

Yes, Dear.

Would you like to do this? How about that?

Please, Hon?

What do you mean you can't do this anymore?

I'm sorry.

What do you mean you're unhappy? How can I make you happy?

Can I call you tomorrow?

Would you like to have sex tonight? Why not? PLEASE?!?!

Girls night out? I hope you have fun with the girls then!

I'm so sorry!

If it will make you happy, than I'll do it.

But I had plans! I made you a nice dinner, and picked up a good bottle of wine and I rented that movie you wanted to see and...... ah well, that's okay. Don't worry about it. You go out and have fun, I'll just save the food in the fridge and reheat it for you tomorrow. Don't worry about, it's not a big deal...I understand the sale ends tomorrow and you and your friends need to take advantage of it while it's so cheap. Have fun, and know that I'll be thinking of you while you girls are shopping! Love you!

Would you like this one, or would you like that one?

Will you accept my apology?

If you don't like it, I have the receipt so that you can return it and get something you do like!

Would you like to hear this song your beauty inspired me to write for you?

I'll make it up to you...I PROMISE!

What do you think about this? Is it good? Do you like it? Maybe you'll like it better if did this instead?

What should we do today?

How come you never want to have sex anymore? 

Why won't you accept my apology?

Wow, he's such a jerk! Why do your friends always go out with guys like that?

Should we go to counseling?

Can I go fishing with Dave this weekend? PLEASE?!?!

Would you like me to hold your purse for you?

Will you make love to me?

Sure I'll get your tampons for you....which brand do you prefer? Absorbent or Super-Absorbent? Do you need any pads, too?

Where do you want to go? What would you like to eat?

OF COURSE you don't look fat in those jeans!

I feel like we need to work on our communication skills. I feel like we don't have meaningful conversations anymore, and I really want us to become more intimate.

Would it be okay if I go surfing with Joe tomorrow? I'll be back in time so we can do something...

NO, I was NOT looking at her!

Okay, I'll sell it or give it away...I don't really need it.

I'm sorry.

Anything you want...I'll do it!

What do you mean I always lie? I do NOT!

Do you love me as much as I love you?

Would you like to hear this poem I wrote for you?

Steve is having his bachelor party this weekend. Don't worry though, I'm not going, as there will be strippers there and I know how you don't want me to be around things like that. Don't worry, it's okay, he'll understand. Yeah, we've been friends since elementary school, but he knows how important our relationship is and that I would never disrespect you like that!

You are the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth!

How can we make our relationship better?

Can you please kiss me?

I'm sorry....

Do you need help with that?

Yes, it's my fault...again. I'm sorry.

Would you like me to....

Hey....I said I'm sorry!

Please don't hang up on me....hello? HELLO?!?!?

Oh the painful recollections of my former self and how I lived a life walking on eggshells and fearful dishonesty. Re-reading that again makes me want to retch. It makes me want to travel back in time and kick my bitch-ass self in the balls. Except even that wouldn't be possible, as my balls were safely hidden away in her purse.

I was just trying to be the Nice Guy. The archetype of the supposed type of guy women say they want.

Trying to do and be all the things a man is supposed to, to make the relationship work. Being sensitive to her needs. Striving to please her, and make sure to avoid upsetting her as much as possible.

Checking with her on everything.

Constantly asking for reassurance that she was happy. Constantly asking for her approval.

Making sure I was trying not to do anything that would upset her. This included telling a lot of "white" lies to try and avoid upsetting her. Striving to be supportive.

To let her needs, wants and desires supersede my own at every potential conflict.

This is precisely how guys slide into attraction killing "Beta-tude."

I was trying to live the deliberately programmed lie enlightened ideal of EQUALITY by avoiding any overt expressions or actions of confident masculinity. The last thing I ever wanted to be accused of, was being a "misogynist."

This is also how I almost ended up divorced. Thanks to the great unlearning gleaned from the insights of Game, I am today a Father, a Husband, and the unquestioned leader and head of MY household.

And the one overriding, most important principle I came to in my study of Game, was that the unapologetic, unashamed embrace of masculinity is found through honesty....honor and truth as venerated throughout history in all of the Great Books for Men. **lozlzolzol**

Game gave me the means to step outside of myself and see just how dishonest I was being in striving to be NICE. It allowed me to recognize how I was learned by society at large to become a bitch, and gave me the starting point to unlearn all those attitudes and behaviors, so that I could relearn the authentic meaning of masculinity. As noted in my past post, The Priamary Trait of the AMC: Fearful Dishonesty:

When I was an Average Married Chump, I was a liar. A dishonest weasel. I lied all the time. Most all of it was so-called "white lies." And it wasn't just in relation to my wife, but with my peer group, my work-place colleagues and school classmates...everyone.

This was because I lived my life afraid to upset other people. I tried to always find what I mistakenly thought of as the path of least resistance. To use dishonesty to avoid conflict. For instance, if I were invited to participate in something I did not care to, I would scramble for a convenient excuse -- A LIE -- instead of being honest and straightforward and saying, "no thanks, I'm not interested in doing that."

The real problem with that is when you spin webs of deceit, you eventually get tangled up and caught. It is inevitable if your whole social life is based on trying to avoid upsetting people by lying to them. And from the perspective of the woman you are having a relationship with, it is the ultimate respect-killer.

This is how "game" showed me truth, and eventually brought me to Truth. Women's attraction and respect are based on hypergamy. Being a bitch of a NICE GUY puts you into the role of supplicant, the beta-orbiter and puppy dog douche, pussy whipped and stumbling around in a oneitis-induced stupor of idiocy. This leads to contempt and the unhaaaapppppiness of your spouse. Keep it up long enough, and you end up caught and ground up in the wheels of injustice in our anti-family court systems.

Reverse-engineering this sad state of affairs was only made possible by discovering this thing called game.

I know what I know, because it was knowledge and experience gained through personal trials and tribulations, brought about by much introspection and unlearning all of the regularly scheduled programming of relationship dysfunction in our Brave New World Order.

When I contemplate the topic of Game, I am not distracted nor side-tracked by the moral and spiritual judgement of its foremost practitioners who indulge in hedonistic and nihilistic debauchery. That is where you can go with it, but that does not define it in it's sum totality.

Based on my personal experience, I am firmly persuaded that I knows already, without a shadow of doubt, what is laid before me.

God, Game & The Shape of the "Men's Movement"

"You're Doing it All Wrong!" "No, Game!" "No, MRA!" "No, MHRA!" "No, MGTOW!"

Contrary to popular belief, the "men's movement" on teh Interwebz has always taken the form of a particular shape...and that shape is a circle.

Are we all set yet? Ready...aim....FIRE!


lozlzolzolzolzozlol

The following comes from a post written on an old MGTOW forum by Zenpriest. After re-reading the post Retrenched referenced in my comments, I had myself a nice little Lima Oscar Lima moment.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

 
 
The following is a paraphrasing and edited re-post with current linkage to apply Why There Never Has Been Any Coherent "Men's Movement" and Why There Never Will Be to the current debate on Game and Christianity going on in the Christianity-concerned sector of the MAndrosphere.

And, once again, here is why there never has been any coherent "men's movement" and never will be. Women who detest everything about another woman will still stand with her as a woman against all men, while men will argue each other to death over such weighty issues as Vox vs.Chesterson or Cane Caldo is not Chesterton.

Men, in general, seem so obsessed with dividing the world into "us" and "them" that the inevitable end point of the process seems to boil down to "me" and "them".

There are far more than just two types of motivations for a man to unplug and decide to go his own way. And, there is no "the" division among the MAndrosphere on teh Interwebz - there are thousands of divisions, even though we only have a little over 100 members.

PUAMRAMGTOWMHRAWHATEVS is not any sort of "movement", or at least no sort of mass or unified movement - just like the so-called "marriage strike" is no sort of strike at all, but the visible result of millions of men turning off to the idea of marriage, and becoming so disgusted with all the secular women who have the EMF (Entitlement Materialist Feminist) mentality, and for other Men struggling with adhering to Biblical Christianity, they too are becoming disgusted with the EAP (Evangelical American Princess) mentality, that dealing with modern women is so unpleasant, that aversion to them is stronger than the normal biological drive and attraction.

That alone says a lot about the quality of women we have as our possible choices of mates.

"Understanding" does not equal getting down with someone in their self-pity pot and wallowing in it with them. If that is how they want to spend their time, they are welcome to do that, but the rest of us have better things to do with our time and our lives.

I think there is a third group which is far larger among MGTOW than either of those mentioned above - men who realized that the system was rigged against them and opted out of playing the rigged game.

I have a certain degree of empathy for divorced men who have been screwed over by the system, but it is limited. The signs have been out there in the culture for more than 30 years indicating where this is all headed.



Men who ignored those signs, or were too thick to realize what they meant, had the chance to avoid what ended up happening to them, but chose not to. I saw those signs and have avoided most of the negative consequences of dealing with EMF and EAP women, and don't see any reason why they couldn't have done the same.

Yes, I agree that the system has mightily fucked them over. What I do not understand is why so many of them continue to support and defend the very system which did fuck them over.

I view the whole marriage/fatherhood and even dating issue much like I view the de-criminalization of marijuana. Marriage and fatherhood have been criminalized, and those who go ahead and choose to do it are doing it at their own risk. A lot of people take the same approach to smoking pot - they do it, and hope that they are one of the ones who get away with it without getting caught.

Of course, for men seeking to follow the path of Christ, they are commanded to "smoke the pot" if they burn. This makes complete sense, because authentic, Biblical Masculinity and Patriarchal Marriage have also been criminalized.

So there does exist a group of both Christian and secular men of whom the legal deterrent is significant enough to encourage them to refrain. Particularly when past experience with the criminalized activity has convinced us that it is marginally worth continuing even without the legal risk.

Now, there are a lot of issues on which I disagree with [insert any MAndrosphere blogger or commenter here]. But none of them are significant enough to be worth putting energy into creating conflict about and risking polarization because there is a far greater number of issues on which we are in total agreement. Since those are major issues for men, it makes more sense to spend time and energy looking for ways to cooperate and strengthen each other's efforts, instead of wasting a lot of time and energy, and creating animosity, by trying to prove to each other that we are right and he is wrong.




As Zed aka Zenpriest pointed this out way back when, I too echo the sentiment. We live in interesting times, and men need to lower their guns, step out of the circle, and get busy doing what they need to do to get what they want out of this life. (While filed that link under "Eye of the Mind" that particular story "so shut up and shovel the fuckin' gravel." was written by Zed.)

So Free Northerner asked the Christian denouncers of Game for an alternative. In my view, much of what these guys are preaching, is discussing the same things, just using a different terminology to get away from the advocacy of sinful fornication, promiscuity and adultery the PUA advocate when discussing Game.

There are a number of us that see no inherent conflict or evil in studying this thing called Game..but there are a number who do.

I say, have at it Gentlemen. You think those of us that tell men they can learn something useful from studying Game are headed in the wrong direction? Fine. Instead of jumping into the circle and pulling out your guns and getting ready to shoot us, I say, GO YOUR OWN WAY. If what those of us who advocate the study of Game are wrong, then the rightness of your argument will win out.

Go and build your foundation and see what may come of it. In the big picture, I agree with most of you, more than I disagree. In my view, the disagreement rests on semantics and everyone trying to define "Game." Some of us see it as a toolbox...one that has zero relevance to adhering to God's laws and morality. I agree with the assessment from the blog Masculine by Design, in which he states - Game is Not a Four Letter Word.

Game has dark roots by Christian standards. It started out as guys on the Internet trading ideas about how to get laid. In particular, how to walk up to woman a you had never met before, and have her in bed before the night was out. Not using force or money, but by convincing her that it would be a fantastic idea to sleep with you—right now. And, it worked.

Despicable.

Then something unexpected happened. Men at the other end of the social spectrum—shy, socially inept men—started to ask how they could simply talk to a woman without her publicly emasculating them by proclaiming “YOU think you're good enough for ME!” And, lo and behold, game worked for them also. Dating, marriage, children, a family—a normal life—suddenly became a real possibility for these men.

Not despicable at all.

Game is amoral; game is concerned about reality, and men were desperate for answers about why the world worked as it did. So, they extended game into other areas of their lives—marriage, work, school, the legal system, politics, church, and economics—in an attempt to see if they could answer why these things were as they were in modern culture. Game developed a profile of men, woman, and American culture. The profile is unflattering (to say the least), and has led some to call game anti-women (and ironically others to declare it anti-men). But game isn't anti or pro anything or anyone, it's about what works. Pragmatic to its core, if something worked it became part of the profile; if it didn't it was discarded.

Game is not a religion, and Roissy is not its prophet. I believe it is a Praxeology, and studying it's axiomatic truths can help many of awaken to the truth. I can only shake my head in disagreement because I KNOW what studying and applying it to my own life has done for me. In the same way all the denouncers of the Paleo Diet never ever gain traction with me, because I've done it, and the differences in my health and well being are more than enough confirmation for me to discern who's got it right, and who's got it wrong. I know what path I'm on. I know where I am going, and I know where I am from.

When it comes to men getting together and discussing the way of the world, many of us will agree, and many of us will disagree.

This will always be so. Time to accept it and move on.

Team Woman

With permission from 7Man I post "Team Woman" here for posterity's sake.

QFT!


 


TEAM WOMAN
by 7Man

I have observed that a woman always takes the side of other women against a man unless she has a particular attraction or allegiance to that man. Women are very competitive and will fight another woman over a man if he is Her Man (or a potential Her Man), but will not engage in a fight with another woman on behalf of a man that she has no feelings for (not Her Man and no desire to make him Her Man).

In simple terms a woman is on two teams: Team Woman and Team Her Man.

Team Her Man is her primary allegiance and she will go against Team Woman if she has a Team Her Man.

But Team Her Man is a more fluid and ill-defined concept. It can be an unbelievably strong loyalty but can quickly slide into nothing if she loses respect for Her Man. Most women have no Team Her Man but desperately want to be on such a team.

Also other women will actively fight against a woman that puts Team Her Man first. Happiness is found on Team Her Man and so any woman that does not have a Team Her Man tries to recruit a woman back to Team Woman so that all the women team members can be miserable together.

The irony is that any woman that tries to sow discord in another Team Her Man does great damage to all other Team Her Mans and thus hurts herself too. There is just too much comfort in the shared misery on Team Woman and they can gripe about the happy women that are on a winning Team Her Man and against the imaginary Team Man. The members of this Team Woman don’t understand the concept of the greater good.

There is no Team Man, because men don’t give a shit about other men. The women on Team Woman think they are fighting against Team Man (aka Evil Patriarchy), but Team Man never showed up for the fight.

So in our modern world, Team Woman is predominant and is changing the rules to make it easier to win against an opponent that never showed up for the fight.