tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post7226194882217365278..comments2024-03-19T03:23:27.062-07:00Comments on Hawaiian libertarian: PUA for LTRKeoni Galthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842553742723239151noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-7452845442492614912013-03-24T09:43:14.927-07:002013-03-24T09:43:14.927-07:00The haters are lacking in common sense. Your &quo...The haters are lacking in common sense. Your "Dave from Hawaii" essay has really helped me, my marriage, and my wife. THANK YOU!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-72741005589993410242012-11-20T04:34:31.426-08:002012-11-20T04:34:31.426-08:00I feel really nice reading these articles I mean t...I feel really nice reading these articles I mean there are writers that can write good material.<a href="http://www.vindicarlopandorasbox.org/" rel="nofollow">pandoras box vin dicarlo</a>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-12479915057750523992012-11-19T02:29:01.148-08:002012-11-19T02:29:01.148-08:00Engrossing substance I haven't been finished s...Engrossing substance I haven't been finished specified info in a lasting time.<a href="http://www.vindicarlopandorasbox.org/" rel="nofollow">read more</a><br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09308845307241405935noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-68325440378633574082011-08-24T17:31:31.785-07:002011-08-24T17:31:31.785-07:00Your entire post illustrates for men with money, m...Your entire post illustrates for men with money, means, a career and options the reasons NOT to get married. Why should I have to engage in an elaborate game to placate a wife. It only shows you have no game even fewer options. I prefer variety and have the money and looks to afford it, which you don't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-41649748340591969782010-02-27T13:49:31.197-08:002010-02-27T13:49:31.197-08:00...continuing...
That programming is powerful. Th......continuing...<br /><br />That programming is powerful. The red pill/blue pill analogy is quite apropos, but not as mnl described it. The red pill represents reality, not an alternative mindset. There is only one reality, and the "blue pill" mindset for relationships is not one that works in reality. When a man swallows that red pill and purges all the wuss behavior that we have been taught to display, we quite naturally fall back into that role of the playful guy who leads his wife as she wants to be led instead of putting her on a pedestal and making both miserable.<br /><br />This effect is so consistent and so profound that I make a living teaching men about it and helping them to shed that programming. Over the years I've been doing it I have seen some VERY beta men shed that programming and become quite enjoyable to be around. And while in a room full of males, they are usually still the ones standing aside and letting others be in charge, they're not doing so with an air of insecurity, but with an air of waiting for orders because they expect those in charge to be experts and organized, soldiers, not wimps and little boys on a playground. The way we behave and the place we hold in our homes and in our marriages carries over into all parts of our life.<br /><br />David Cunningham,<br />makingherhappy.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-92135930851964556512010-02-27T13:48:57.039-08:002010-02-27T13:48:57.039-08:00Greetings!
Blogger is giving me a hard time about...Greetings!<br /><br />Blogger is giving me a hard time about this post needing to be only 4096 characters and it's only 4087, so I'm giong to split it into two parts.<br /><br />I am an alpha, and I made the same mistakes you discuss here, because that was the example I had to follow as I was growing up. It killed several marriages before I started reading people like John Alanis and realized that I was living my relationships very differently from how I lived the rest of my life.<br /><br />I was a business consultant, accustomed to conducting group research through interviews and such, and gathered a large group of women to get the facts. They do in fact communicate differently from us, very indirect and diplomatic as opposed to the natural male tendency to be very direct, and each gender expects the other to behave as their own gender does. We found what REAL alpha male behavior is, and it is not the fiery, jealous, violent behavior of the leader of a dog pack. That's alpha dog behavior. <br />Human male behavior is simply being able to make decisions, motivate people, be confident and playful, flirting and patiently allowing a woman to enjoy her anticipation until she’s finally overwhelmed with desire and then taking charge of that situation in such a way that all are satisfied. It does not require that a man be a cave man or even close. It requires that a man assume his natural position of authority and not be ruled by his wife's hormonal swings, moodiness and drama; indeed, his biggest job as the male is to help her not get lost in those conditions and emotions by being playful, being decisive, helping her to climb out of the funk, etc. Those are things that any man can do, no matter how beta he is, as Dave found in his own life. Alpha characteristics are also natural to beta men to some degree, and as long as they don't just hand over their testicles to their wife, they can be quite attractive.<br /><br />I read Neil Strauss's "The Game" out of curiosity. While I was appalled at the peacocking and other attention-getting devices and seeing the bar set so low that "closing" was defined as getting a phone number or a kiss (attention-getting and lowering the bar that terribly low are signs of terrible self-esteem, not a beta personality), I was fascinated at how some of them, like David D'Angelo, picked up on so much of the psychology. It's a shame that they lacked the confidence to use it properly, so that, as Strauss points out in the last paragraph or two of "The Game," that no form of closing is going to be good enough if you can't follow it up with a relationship when it eventually turns out that you've found someone you actually want to be with longer than a kiss or a night. THAT is when you have to know not only about women, but about MEN -- you MUST know what your natural state and station are as a man so that you can blow off all that misandrous programming that everyone from the mainstream media to our own parents have heaped on us since birth.<br /><br />Continued...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-50608924805045025472010-01-29T01:08:26.864-08:002010-01-29T01:08:26.864-08:00Dave
Can I contact you in private.Dave<br />Can I contact you in private.Ghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04342032865028013037noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-76299182143887335692010-01-08T09:09:15.366-08:002010-01-08T09:09:15.366-08:00Keoni,
I read many of your posts at Roissy. This ...Keoni,<br /><br />I read many of your posts at Roissy. This was after I realized with the assistance of my Econ. Prof. neighbor that I had changed from a lesser alpha to a beta after marriage(10 years in now). Anyway your postings were very timely and informative for me. My marriage is better now and my wife happier.I thank you for your efforts on behalf of males everywhere. Keep up the good work!!!<br />Puntblock5Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-70967984948399172010-01-07T14:03:56.593-08:002010-01-07T14:03:56.593-08:00Thanks to all for the support.
Rob, I agree....bu...Thanks to all for the support.<br /><br />Rob, I agree....but is 10% of nothing better than nothing? ;-)Keoni Galthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00842553742723239151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-90465109517684182262010-01-06T15:52:16.289-08:002010-01-06T15:52:16.289-08:00You've helped many. Keep up the good work and ...You've helped many. Keep up the good work and ignore the naysayers. <br /><br />Sincerely,<br />California LibertarianAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-75662760134746822010-01-05T11:42:50.266-08:002010-01-05T11:42:50.266-08:00HL,
Your stuff is all good, and I for one vote f...HL, <br /><br />Your stuff is all good, and I for one vote for you to receive a 10% raise in pay for your efforts!.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00954715060471574125noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-17096158722513128582010-01-04T09:45:59.387-08:002010-01-04T09:45:59.387-08:00Dave, I enjoy nearly all your posts on LTR issues-...Dave, I enjoy nearly all your posts on LTR issues--including this one. It's a shame that a few (and I believe it is just a few) have misconstrued what you're about. Please take heart that the number of relationships that you've helped likely dwarfs the number who have vocally misinterpreted your message. <br /><br />You've described your awakening as like taking the "red pill". This Matrix metaphor makes complete sense. The red pill is an alternative mindset. It exists in a parallel reality to the "blue pill" of conventional relationship thought. But as an alternate view on the world, it's going to challenge the status quo. If you're doing it right, expressing your red-pill view is going to generate some heat. It has to. <br /><br />At the risk of over-using Thomas Kuhn... the gulf that separates you from certain critics may have a parallel in Kuhn's description of "paradigm shifts" in the scientific community. That is, the blue-pill world of conventional, beta-ized, and misandrist relationship thought is one "theory" (the established one). The knowledge of LTR game is another (the alternate theory). The personal shift to the new theory (the red pill or LTR game) happens as follows: At some point along the bumpy road of blue-pill relationships, many men find "anomalies" for which blue-pill thought simply has no good explanation or solution. For example, a man asks himself while sleeping on the sofa one night after an argument with his wife/girlfriend, "I've done everything she asked for. Why is she so critical and not happy with me?" Or perhaps he finds himself standing in the check-out line with his wife at a fabric store on game day alternately feeling resentful for being there <i>and</i> guilty for feeling resentful. Above all, he wonders how the hell he got in such a whipped position in the first place. Or perhaps he confronts the very worst: "Why the hell did my wife just have a fling with that unemployed biker dude and is now threatening divorce? I've sacrificed so much for her." These anomalies (or hopefully ones much more mild!) cause a "crisis" of thought; they force a re-evaluation of the blue-pill relationship theory--a theory that fails to grasp the process of beta-ization. <br /><br />The trouble is... as some men come to the realization that "game" or the "red pill" has a more sound explanation for crises like these, the status quo is threatened. As some men find the "red pill" not only explains all the above anomalies but enlightens their minds to far, far more as well, there's an "intellectual battle" (Kuhn's words) that takes place. Nevermind that LTR game is a much more useful way of viewing the world AND of getting what a guy wants AND of making his wife/girlfriend happier. Red-pill theory challenges the comfort zone of other men (and women). To a blue-pill guy, the possibility of red-pill veracity means that all one has trusted and relied upon previously about opposite sex relationships--all the pretty lies--are entirely bunk. This is mentally upsetting and even fear inducing. Therefore, the acceptance of the alternative (red-pill) view isn't at all instantaneous. The change will never be universal. The transition isn't one bit calm. Instead, the new theory provokes rhetorical and philosophical attacks from those challenged by it. In the scientific world Kuhn explains how these attacks happen using the somewhat polite discourse of academic journals and in the rarefied air of scientific conferences. By contrast, and in a blogosphere cloaked in Internet anonymity, the attacks against the new relationship paradigm are often ad hominem and more blunt--such as you're finding.<br /><br />Again, maybe this rant is an overuse of Thomas Kuhn. But bottom line: if you're seeing opposition and mischaracterizations of your words, it means you're doing everything right!mnlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07816137508182175224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-47639205457640377382010-01-03T08:36:26.885-08:002010-01-03T08:36:26.885-08:00except in my own case it was reinforced and magnif...<i>except in my own case it was reinforced and magnified by a “Christian” church community that preached implicit misandry as a tenet of their religious doctrine.</i><br /><br />Glad to see you put "Christian" in quotes - glad to see that you realize that those attitudes are not called for in the bible. (In fact, in previous centuries women were considered the tempters of men.)Kirt33noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-59588335138362215752010-01-02T17:16:18.960-08:002010-01-02T17:16:18.960-08:00Some great stuff in there, although I have not rea...Some great stuff in there, although I have not read the post that got you going. I hate the term 'Alpha Male' and it's connatations of arrogance and exploitation. But we need a model of masculinity which is strong and powerful. We need to be strong and certain with our women, but that doesn't meant treating them like crap.Graham Phoenixhttp://www.malexperience.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-60304618394146275702010-01-02T02:26:17.370-08:002010-01-02T02:26:17.370-08:00Don't bother about what other people think, Da...Don't bother about what other people think, Dave. I knew from the outset what your intention was: to help other people to have a better relationship with the women in their lives.<br /><br />If somebody misinterpreted your posts about LTR Game is because stupid people consciously misinterpret things in order to follow their agendas. <br /><br />I am really thankful for your posts. I have learned a lot. I am a foreign guy so your influence extends abroad.<br /><br />Thank you, Dave.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-19067635456793810952009-12-31T08:47:43.599-08:002009-12-31T08:47:43.599-08:00I tip my glass to you sir and thank you for your p...I tip my glass to you sir and thank you for your posts. <br /><br />I've been in a 25 year ltr and the first 20 years were all beta-beat-down. Five years ago I knew this wasn't right and started to figure it out. Not sure if the relationship will make it but I'm ready for that change in life.<br /><br />Your posts were a huge help.<br /><br />Cheers!!!bearhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13768224608633598065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-92161016715296356632009-12-31T03:31:38.693-08:002009-12-31T03:31:38.693-08:00Never be disheartened. Guys who know what you'...Never be disheartened. Guys who know what you're talking about or any guys with half a brain know you're cool. You helped tons of men become (better) patriarchs.<br />Thank You.Deansdalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00489386442913428856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-43848525582554603622009-12-30T11:08:26.491-08:002009-12-30T11:08:26.491-08:00Dave, your story is much like mine, only my marria...Dave, your story is much like mine, only my marriage didn't survive. I've learned these things since, though, and they transformed my relationships with both men and women. Men will often defer to me, and I notice that even young women will often give me looks that reveal interest, and I'm 56 freakin years old. I've been with a great woman now for almost 4 years, and our interactions are characterized by lots of negging banter, teasing, and slaps on the ass (she slaps mine, too). I refer to her as "My woman" to both men and women, and I love to look at their expressions when I do.<br /><br />Don't let the idiots get you down, but somehow, I know you won't.<br /><br />emarelAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-87297796944632414192009-12-30T08:24:36.178-08:002009-12-30T08:24:36.178-08:00Good stuff. I think ultimately, "game" ...Good stuff. I think ultimately, "game" in the context of a LTR is nothing more or less than <i>being a man</i>. In the dating scene, it may be possible to fake it long enough to get laid. But in a long-term relationship, if you don't truly have a certain masculinity and confidence, it's going to show.<br /><br />Almost every man, no matter how supplicating and tongue-tied he might be around women, has some area of his life where he's confident. The nerd who stutters and wets himself when a pretty girl talks to him may be the cockiest guy in his chess club or online gaming group. So for most guys, it's not about being something you're not; it's about taking the self that you are when you're confident and happy and extending that to the rest of your life.<br /><br />You mentioned putting women on a pedestal. One revelation for me was when I realized a woman wants you to put <i>her</i> on a pedestal; she doesn't want you to put <i>all</i> women on a pedestal. In other words, she wants you to love her and do nice things for her because she's special and deserves them, not because she's got two X chromosomes. That's why they want to earn their way into your heart--something you don't have to earn must not be worth much.<br /><br />You also mentioned misandrist churches. Since I've started going to a traditional Catholic church, I've been blown away by the difference. There are separate roles for men and women, and the <i>women</i> especially like it that way. These are strong, opinionated women, so it's not like they're just going along with domineering men. But the men are men and the women are women, and it's a huge contrast from so many modern churches (Catholic and otherwise) where women have taken over all the roles and the men are just along for the ride. It's pretty wild to hear a woman say, "The husband is the head of the household, and if mine isn't, I'm gonna kick his butt."Aaronhttp://www.butteredham.com/blog/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-14568015986181427412009-12-30T08:15:22.626-08:002009-12-30T08:15:22.626-08:00Awesome, awesome post Dave. Truly inspiring, and ...Awesome, awesome post Dave. Truly inspiring, and a kick in the ass to the blue-pills. Thanks for writing this!CMPittsnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-74283619161210307152009-12-30T02:02:25.015-08:002009-12-30T02:02:25.015-08:00Ferdinand - I'm not trying to take back Game, ...Ferdinand - I'm not trying to take back Game, just add a contribution. If anyone in the movement had a central point on game for LTRs, even a single column, I wouldn't have started the blog, but they have left the niche unfilled. If pro PUAs come on board and take over, or start their own superior competitors, I will be delighted. All I want is for people in long-term relationships to get the support of theories and examples from human sexual dynamics, as opposed to it just being used to help pathetic guys get laid.<br /><br />I don't claim to be an expert, just a guy who knows a tiny bit of game, has a happy marriage, and is good at identifying low-hanging-fruit.<br /><br />Dave - no problem with your being too busy, I totally understand. I waffled over starting PUA4LTR b/c I already write for so many blogs / have so much going on in my life. I encourage you to post about PUA in the context of LTR on your blog or on the Spearhead every now and then, and I'm happy to link to it. You are an inspiration to people like me who think that Game can be applied to being a husband and father, not just a player.Patri Friedmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00795471439484698201noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-49758375547569582102009-12-29T22:28:16.175-08:002009-12-29T22:28:16.175-08:00Good writeup Dave. Based on the commentary you we...Good writeup Dave. Based on the commentary you were reacting to, it seems that you have a gift for attracting what I suspect are the well-intentioned, sexually-frustrated betas. At least that's what they appear like from your comments.<br /><br />Their approach NEVER worked for me. Some men are indeed, not intended to be harsh but truthful, 'stuck on stupid' when it comes to relationships. <br /><br />Or perhaps they are closet feminists. Regardless, your characterization of them as "fools" is true. They seem not to know 'up' from 'down'.CSnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-72808643657276441302009-12-29T20:36:20.034-08:002009-12-29T20:36:20.034-08:00Beautiful.
"Mothers are feted on Mother’s Da...Beautiful.<br /><br />"Mothers are feted on Mother’s Day in that church. All mothers are asked to stand amongst the congregation during the service, so that all the young men of the church can give them flowers in honor of being sacred mothers.<br /><br />On Father’s day, the Preacher gets up and administers a harangue and excoriates Father’s for failing to make the sacrifices necessary to make their wives and their children happy."<br /><br />I cannot count the number of churches I have seen do this. It seems almost universal.Talleyrandhttp://seasonsoftumultanddiscord.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-49972820771200033892009-12-29T20:32:55.957-08:002009-12-29T20:32:55.957-08:00Good work Dave. I encountered the PUA for LTR blog...Good work Dave. I encountered the <i>PUA for LTR</i> blog last month and took issue with its misleading and inaccurate name here:<br /><br /><a href="http://www.inmalafide.com/2009/11/11/a-modest-request/" rel="nofollow">http://www.inmalafide.com/2009/11/11/a-modest-request/</a><br /><br />If you've read the novel <i>Doctor Faustus</i> by Thomas Mann, the book's protagonist makes a deal with the Devil in order to "take back" Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 - in other words, create a piece of music that is similar enough that it ruins the audience's ability to enjoy the original. The <i>PUA for LTR</i> blog reads like a failed attempt by Patri Friedman/Patrissimo to "take back" game from people like you, Roissy, and the rest of us. I say "failed" because in two months of operation, he could only get one contributor - a "life coach" who has no direct knowledge of how game works, and as you showed Dave, none of the commenters understand how game works either. Contrast this with <i>The Spearhead</i>, which had six authors on board when it launched and now has over a dozen, and where posts regularly get hundreds of comments.<br /><br />I've got nothing against Friedman, but he should really leave this stuff to the pros.Ferdinand Bardamuhttp://www.inmalafide.com/noreply@blogger.com