tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post2151024835172470704..comments2024-03-23T13:16:37.006-07:00Comments on Hawaiian libertarian: The Primary Trait of the AMC: Fearful DishonestyKeoni Galthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00842553742723239151noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-64850344487391679002011-02-11T15:49:43.028-08:002011-02-11T15:49:43.028-08:00The ironic thing is that most guys didn't wear...The ironic thing is that most guys didn't wear an AMC hat when they first began dating their (future) spouse. It's an attitude that has since become learned. I've often wondered how or why men fall into this AMC state. <br /><br />Most men in an LTR don't activity seek out drama. In fact, they work hard to reduce it, to paper it over--at least more so than do most women--and this leads to many AMC-like behaviors. Perhaps back in prehistory, tribes containing men who practiced emotional histrionics just didn't get the job done. It's harder to team up and fight off a waring tribe or take down a mastodon, if one cave-dude is emotionally preoccupied with how another cave-dude said his loincloth makes his butt look fat. Emotional tension between male members of a tribe likely made for a less cohesive, less trustful, and ultimately less successful tribe.<br /><br />Perhaps some of that carries over today and explains why men tend to avoid stirring their wives' negative emotions. The AMC errs on the side of being agreeable (even when he disagrees) non-communicative (if his communication might provoke) or tells white lies (if it will avoid conflict). In the long run, however, this is opposite of what one should do. It certainly won't get one laid more.<br /><br />Granted, successful LTR's require immense amounts of sacrifice and selflessness. I'm not saying every guy need be a disagreeable bastard. <b>But a woman's negative emotional state isn't what it appears to be.</b> Most women have an optimal emotional stimulation level that's higher than most mens'. Expressing emotion is cathartic for her. When you try to stifle it, work to avoid it, or resist it like a wet noodle, that's not very fulfilling for her. It leaves her dissatisfied.<br /><br />When you stand firmly like an oak and let the emotional storm expend it's energy, then you're both better off in the end. You show the strength that she craves and respects; she feels emotionally connected.<br /><br />...But I wouldn't recommend suddenly announcing you're going to a party in Vegas complete with strippers after you've been a married sack-less wimp for the previous 10 years. These changes must be made gradually and consistently.mnlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07816137508182175224noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-90883867607260306512011-02-04T18:55:21.785-08:002011-02-04T18:55:21.785-08:00Great summary of all your advice. If someone foll...Great summary of all your advice. If someone follows your advice they could avoid women like the one described below<br /><br />www.sabinaciminerofat.webs.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-23594945562740919892011-02-01T21:33:44.799-08:002011-02-01T21:33:44.799-08:00Heh Doug...there's a reason why I logged into ...Heh Doug...there's a reason why I logged into Roissy's with a moniker like "Dave from Hawaii" instead of "hawaiian libertarian" and a hot link to my blog. Dave is not really my name...but I do have a connection with that name.<br /><br />Roissy's is a high profile site...and I don't blog for the traffic. I don't give a shit if I get popular or not. I've never checked my traffic stats, I've never considered adding blog ads or doing anything with this blog other than using it as an outlet for my thoughts and perspectives. When people respond and add their two cents or correct me, it's cool and I appreciate it...but I'm not actively seeking to gain wider exposure.<br /><br />I didn't want to attract a mass of trolls of the likes that the Chateau attracts. I get a lot of grief as it is from certain folks for what I blog about here.<br /><br />I'm fine with the people who find my blog through my "Dave from Hawaii" posts at Roissy's...but I don't care to reveal anymore personal info on my real life other than what I've already done over there. <br /><br />Once Roissy compiled all of my commentary into that one post, I realized exactly how much personal info I'd revealed on his blog. Anyone who knows me in real life here in Hawaii would read that and know exactly who I am.<br /><br />I prefer to try and maintain a semblance of internet anonymity because of the things for which I blog about here.<br /><br />That is why I've never made a real effort to link this blog with my "dave from Hawaii" posts over there.Keoni Galthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00842553742723239151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-22440042724749375462011-02-01T17:24:52.725-08:002011-02-01T17:24:52.725-08:00HL--
I wonder why you didn't link to the grea...HL--<br /><br />I wonder why you didn't link to the great compilation of your illustrations of how you run marred game on your wife over at Roissy's / Citizen Renegade's blog. It's a compilation that Roissy/Chateau did of some of the best advice HL gave in comments there over the course of a year or so. <br /><br />It differs from the game advice above by instead of just giving principles, giving all sorts of specific paraphrased examples of how to react to his wife's shit tests, etc. <br /><br />People can find it by site search the Citizen Renegade blog for "relationship game week Dave from Hawaii". (That's another handle HL uses some places.)<br /><br />I direct people to it quite often.Doug1https://www.blogger.com/profile/13948793969077395057noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-6802470715666880642011-02-01T07:48:28.863-08:002011-02-01T07:48:28.863-08:00@jon w: Absolutely. All women do it.
Doesn't ...@jon w: Absolutely. All women do it.<br /><br />Doesn't matter if you're married to her. Doesn't matter if you've been with her for thirty years.<br /><br />What's sad is that so many naive young guys either don't recognise the Shit Test for what it is or they hold out in vain for a woman who won't test them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-78465789656072618292011-02-01T02:47:23.276-08:002011-02-01T02:47:23.276-08:00@LurnMan83
Sympathies on your divorce and daughte...@LurnMan83<br /><br />Sympathies on your divorce and daughter situation.<br /><br />I've been using these approaches for several months, and my marriage is definitely improving. In marriage the trick is to get the right mix of alpha and beta.<br /><br />Bhatzlaha.Sorer Bveitonoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-73194026079830260522011-01-31T19:58:19.543-08:002011-01-31T19:58:19.543-08:00Righteous post, it is always good to review the ba...Righteous post, it is always good to review the basics. Educating people about this is so important.<br /><br />I was just thinking about this topic after being shit-tested by my wife last night. Thing is, she pulls them every so often whether I did something "wrong" or not. Just recognize it for what it is, talk her down or ignore it as the situation dictates, and the results are amazing. I can hardly remember how different life used to be.jon whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03418296789422616035noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-90564625744545723782011-01-31T19:12:35.562-08:002011-01-31T19:12:35.562-08:00I link people to "Avoiding the Fate of the AM...I link people to "Avoiding the Fate of the AMC" article at The Spearhead all the time. I agree it's an excellent one.<br /><br />I'm completely honest with my girl about everything, and I don't apologize for it.Jay Hammershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15116269445543737619noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-69300429327536511192011-01-31T17:57:46.511-08:002011-01-31T17:57:46.511-08:00Fabulous post.
Personally I don't lie because...Fabulous post.<br /><br />Personally I don't lie because that way I only have to remember one thing.Athol Kay: Married Man Sex Lifehttp://www.marriedmansexlife.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-3786704391890704642011-01-31T17:54:52.361-08:002011-01-31T17:54:52.361-08:00What we need to do is put the heavy burdens of per...What we need to do is put the heavy burdens of personal responsibility, individual sacrifice and perseverance and the ideal of rugged individualism on the slim, weak shoulders of women and let them walk around with that weight on for a few decades until they understand the weights and shackles men have to deal with in this life, and maybe finally they will understand why we don't ever want to put up with their shallow bullshit, bitching and constant emotional manipulation. The problem with women is that they have it to easy.modernguynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-45722844127728453442011-01-31T17:19:08.275-08:002011-01-31T17:19:08.275-08:00Ironically enough changing to the "honesty is...Ironically enough changing to the "honesty is the best policy" is part of what ended my marriage with my ex. I had lied to her so long to calm her emotional crap that when I got tired of the man I had become and decided to be honest, she couldn't handle it. In one aspect it was great that she left. I didn't have to pretend anymore and I had her out of my life. On the other hand, she took my four year old daughter, the light of my life, and now I have to go through a divorce with her in the middle. From what I've read here, at The Spearhead, and Roissy's site, among others, my next relationship is going to be vastly different and I pray worth the effort. Despite anything, though, i will not change who I really am for a woman, irregardless of looks or attitude.IurnMan83noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-12768046974907969512011-01-31T15:27:34.031-08:002011-01-31T15:27:34.031-08:00Thanks Toz.
Greg, funny you should ask that...whi...Thanks Toz.<br /><br />Greg, funny you should ask that...while I was writing this post, I went off into a tangent addressing that exact topic specifically regarding "fake it til you make it." Upon re-reading, I realized that whole section was actually an entirely separate idea that actually had enough content to do a separate post on. So I cut out that entire post and started a new draft and saved it to finish up and post tomorrow.<br /><br />Workshy, <i>They reward unreasonable behaviour, so they end up creating a monster.</i><br /><br />So true.Keoni Galthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00842553742723239151noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-81579403290929833472011-01-31T14:59:15.229-08:002011-01-31T14:59:15.229-08:00Great stuff Keoni.
Betas live in fear of their wi...Great stuff Keoni.<br /><br />Betas live in fear of their wife/girlfriend's tantrums and sulks.<br /><br />They reward unreasonable behaviour, so they end up creating a monster.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-44081469379972810612011-01-31T14:55:01.002-08:002011-01-31T14:55:01.002-08:00I think you're absolutely right, but can you p...I think you're absolutely right, but can you please clarify for me how this does not contradict game?<br /><br />I have been struggling with this issue for some time now. On the one hand, I find I am most confident, centered, and strong, when I am unapologetic about myself, do not fake myself, and am honest about my intentions, desires, and actions.<br /><br />On the other hand, doesn't game say specifically that you have to "fake it till u make it"? Isn't that dishonest? Doesn't roissy repeatedly say you should not "be yourself" but fake yourself in ways he says will earn "respect" from women?<br /><br />Isn't this a contradiction or a paradox? This seems to be a central paradox of game - that in order to win respect you need to be yourself, but game tells u that to win respect you have to act in specific ways that may not reflect your true beliefs/desires/intentions and thus be dishonest. <br /><br />I am very curious about your views on this especially because you quoted roissy and seem to have great respect for him, yet roissy seems to be the apostle of the "fake it and don't be yourself" school of game.Gregnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4256367009985298221.post-43458468079862477682011-01-31T13:08:47.286-08:002011-01-31T13:08:47.286-08:00A great summary of all your advice. I've been...A great summary of all your advice. I've been following this stuff for the last year or so and I have to tell you, there's been a big change in my marriage. In the end, the things that women (and to a large extent, men) respect is honesty, boldness and guts.<br /><br />Please continue posting this advice. I learn something new every time I read it.Toznoreply@blogger.com